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Buml0r posted:
Would it be the holiday season without a gratuitous Mitch Hedberg reference AND tiny bits of chocolate that might sometimes resemble poo? Oh no, I think not, my friends. LET'S FIND THAT CALENDAR! If we can't find one maybe we'll just have to buy a bag of chocolates and some construction paper and cardboard and pretty pretty markers and make our OWN calendar!
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Dec 03, 2008 14:46
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If I was crafting calender on own I would place Chrismtas TOMOROW.
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Dec 03, 2008 15:24
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Stew Man Chew posted:If I was crafting calender on own I would place Chrismtas TOMOROW. This genius. Big dore with ONE written ont! And then all go NOMNOMNOM all day. It woyd have t be choc as big as 24 chocks smushed togethar see.
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Dec 03, 2008 16:36
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RIGHT then chappies, this seems to be the place. I've followed the map
and it's not too hard to foloow. Here is the Accounts Office, so let's
have a look inside. i can't say as I think an accounts office will be a
very interesting place or a place to find a calendar, but let's see who
is there who can help. Yep. As I thought, boring in here. there's just a desk with a big chair, and a filing cabinet and a typewriter and a cupboard with some little christmas trees on and a big window leading to another room that doesn't have anyone in. Wait-oh! Christmas trees? That is Christmassy! I will try opening it. Heav. Heav, oe it is locked.  Well, looks like there's nobody here who can help - oe who was that! did you hear that, someone went "get out of here! i don't like kids!" voice came from that chair, let's go and have a look.  oo-er he looks a bit cross. He just went "On whose account are you here?" um, HULLO sir, we have been sent here by the man at the information desk. he said you could probably help, we're Trying to find the Advent Calendar shop. It was run by a chinese old man, he's got weird things there like scrapbooks and a little thingy with ears in a cage. and he sells advent calenders. Oo, he's up now, he's had enough sitting down and now he's doing some looking serious. Ooh. "Then perhaps you have come to the right place after all. Perhaps you feel concern, perhaps you think that the calendar itself is avoiding you this year? You might have considered that you are growing too old perhaps, and that your connection to Snatta Claus grows weaker with every passing year?" hes on the ball this one. I hadn't thought of that but I don't think I even said anything about Snatter! Did any of you mention snattre, I didn't! Sir, I don't even noe what Snatter's up to this year, I normally find out in the calenders! "No, no, that's all relative. He might well be getting up to all sorts... or, as I have considered of late," ooh he sound cross, "he might not be doing anything at all. No, it does no good to try and second-guess what the man may be doing right now. But in the past, yes, that's where it all is, you see. The past, it's difficult to read. Always in movement, the past. But one does one's best. Certainly, great adventures were had in the past, great feats of festive heroism. I might have enjoyed some of them myself, were it not for my semimanifest condition. Let me show you something." and he gets up and hobble over to the cupboard. Honestly this guy is a creepy-looking blokey, have you seen him?  i doen't knoe what's going on there. It's not just that he looks weird, he's blurring all over the place as well, i've noe idea. "Here. Boy. Look, what do you make of these?" Oo, he's opened that cupboard I couldn't open before. look what's in it!  Loads of little glass balls! they've got things in and little snow in them! and if you shake them about the snow will go like it's snow falling down, like snoe! I've got one of those at home I reckon. These have all got different things in! "The accounts cabinet," he sae. I would like one pls! "Very well you might, to look at them here. But I wonder, will the same be true when you have heard it? Not all accounts are the safest kind. I might give you my account of the young Snatter’s great quest, for instance, some time after he left Elf School. But would that be of any interest to a boy like you?" ye! ye pls! o wait, what's THIS! Look there's a special compartment in the cupboard look! Look there mister bloke! YES THERE IS, look i can see it just - - gettoff, no you're in the way, look, there's a little door look! No, just - shift! It's just there, I'm trying to show you, shift!! There! THERE, look! Look I'll - THERE. Right there, I just opened it! It's - YES THERE IS a secret compartment it's OPEN RIGHT NOW, LOOK! Look, there's a sort of sand timer in it, look!  whee-ooh, look at that. phweeee-yooh. ooo-WEEE-ooo... WEEEEE-yoooo. EEE-ooo-ooooo sorry iw as singing dr whoe. But yeah look! What is that? He say, "This is the most dangerous of accounts. Mortal men are not supposed to see it. It doesn't kill you, you're just not supposed to." How does it work? "It doesn't, and it shouldn't, and you can't look at it. But what you do is you turn it upside-down, and the sand takes a day to run through. Enough time to change your mind, enough time to back out and run away and never think about it again. And for the fool who waits, when the sands run out, then the account begins, and you get to learn about the most sinister and the most significant of Christmas tales. Of the prophecies and evil spells, and the ever-ticking clock that spells the end of it all, the end which may come soon, the end which elfen scholars fear more than anything else..." oo! oo! let's have a look then!! "NO! No. All of these other accounts are of nice, easy stories, safe stories. This account... is not for you." oe ok. I'd best go then. I've been in the shops for three days now, mum will be going bonkers. "Will she? Can you tell me her name?" Oe noe he's going to call mum and say to pick me up and she'll be cross! If I just go home myself then I can pretend I was in the garden all the time or hiding in bed! Quick think of a way out! "What would you say your mother's name is, boy?" o dear, er... "Mum." whew that was close oe! Oe a little bell is ringing that's connected to a chamber at the back. He's going through to his back room. Okay. Whew. He's gone. Phew! I don't like it here mates I'm going. Let's goe. I think he's answering the phone, look, we can see him through the big window he's got. But he's got his back to us on the phoen. He can't see us. oe he left the cupbaord open. oe. i think he wants to still talk to us but he's got his back to us now, we can leg it out. he can't see us. oe. What shall we do m80s? Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 03, 2008 around 16:40 |
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Dec 03, 2008 16:36
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well, he won't miss 1 rite?! i meen he has a hole cupboard!
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Dec 03, 2008 16:47
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Buml0r posted:
Oh, you.
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Dec 03, 2008 17:05
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Ooo! if it hav something not ment for us, i bet its a big sekret like where the shop am or where the choconom or everything. it's not fair he wants to keep it, he's got a hole cupboard, we should grab it an leg it and hav a look, we can brung it back l8r m8y! GRAB HIM OURGLASS AN LEG IT!
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Dec 03, 2008 17:24
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flip it over, you have a whole day to find out what it does before the time runs out. do it, do it, DO IITT!!
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Dec 03, 2008 17:26
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Freya C-M posted:GRAB HIM OURGLASS AN LEG IT! Agreed. But be sure to leg it. I thankfully no Chocolate yet. I can't take any more Nearlypoo
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Dec 03, 2008 17:52
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Oh god don't take it. If you take it we are FUCKED, everything's going
to wind up going backwards and haywire and it'll be like Groundhog's
Day but with snow and elves and jingly bells and mistletoe which sounds
good on the surface because lots of kisses every day but when the very
fabric of time tears open and starts spilling coal and reindeer
entrails all over everything you'll be singing a different tune my
friends. There was a globe with Batman's face in it, maybe you should take that one because maybe that means you can be Batman. Who doesn't want to be Batman? I bet he gets all the chocolate he wants PLUS can you imagine what sorts of technological wonder calendars he has access to?
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Dec 03, 2008 17:53
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Buml0r posted:"You might have considered that you are growing too old perhaps, and that your connection to Snatta Claus grows weaker with every passing year?" If we find some choccy today can I have a bit? Even if it's a bit poo. It might be my LAST CHANCE.
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Dec 03, 2008 18:16
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I want the Ottomobot account globe, in the corner there. Or maybe the one inna middel that looks like a big i. I SEE YOU. Hoo sed dat? I did not sed dat.
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Dec 03, 2008 18:20
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Youse all is probbly gonna take the big scary globe with sands but I
want the Dizzy one. He has all kinds of aventures with dragons and
magic coins (maybe they is the kind that you take the rapper off of and
have choco inside). I bet it leeds to an excellent aventure with dizzy and snatter and all the yolk folk. That would be my bestest present since when I was a younger and got to play with dizzy on a shiny puter toy.
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Dec 03, 2008 18:53
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Ooo I see a globe with a little Batman in and besides that one with a pokoman and a triforce an a death star (darth vador)! I think we ott to take one of those. Ooooh hehehehe I also think i see one that has looks like a little...penus. Hehehehehe that varry naughty heeehehe.  editing: Ah there in the cubord inthe toppy righty cornery bit is that a globe with liddle Dooley in it? Surely we should take it since he's one a Snatter's m8s! He'll noe what to do and whar ta get chocos! A black person fucked around with this message at Dec 03, 2008 around 19:06 |
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Dec 03, 2008 19:03
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A black person posted:Ooooh hehehehe I also think i see one that has looks like a little...penus. Hehehehehe that varry naughty heeehehe. hehehehehehehe grab that one to put on miss's desk when skool starts agin. Take the scary one! Pale guy even said it wuz bestest sotry
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Dec 03, 2008 19:42
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Darien Fawkes posted:Oh god don't take it. If you take it we are FUCKED, everything's going to wind up going backwards and haywire and it'll be like Groundhog's Day but with snow and elves and jingly bells and mistletoe which sounds good on the surface because lots of kisses every day but when the very fabric of time tears open and starts spilling coal and reindeer entrails all over everything you'll be singing a different tune my friends. I dair u to name 1 TIEM an advent-ure has gone wrong. I think ur just trying to keep the choclate for urself.
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Dec 03, 2008 20:24
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The one in the middle bottom looks cool, it's either a fuck off houge
explosion or maybe Yggradsil. Either is fucking A. However I for one am
prepared to take my life in my hands and turn over the hourglass, even
if it is a life-timer. Stop being pussies everyone, Bowie and Snatta
and Snoeman are all on our side, I'm sure they'll help/protect us. I am
na bit worried about how stable it will be should we turn it, let's
find something soft and yielding to plant it in and keep it upright. Bulmer on a serious note this is already picking up and living up to expectations, both in the artwork and the story. Knowing how long you've been planning/working on this I just want to say thanks m8. This is the only good thing about this time of year.
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Dec 03, 2008 21:31
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Eye of Sauron! Either that or the scary hourglass. Scary Christmas spirit.
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Dec 03, 2008 22:27
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Grab as many snow globe and scary sand timer as you can fit in coat and LEG IT!!
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Dec 03, 2008 22:29
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Nooo, I don't ever want to be too old for Snatter
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Dec 03, 2008 22:30
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Saint Freak posted:well, he won't miss 1 rite?! i meen he has a hole cupboard! Freya C-M posted:GRAB HIM OURGLASS AN LEG IT! A black person posted:penus oooe... ooooooe...... OKAY! Leggit! I've got the sand timer! Let's goe quick before he look's round! Run! He might have looked round already while we were doing it and seen us through the big window in his back room! I hoep not!! Come on, let's get as far away as we can! I will turn it over when we're safely away! Oe dear I can't believe we stole that man's special scary sand timer!! But I've got to see what happens in it!!! I hope he didn't see us steal the special forbidden story!! He will be so cross!! And sad that it was stolen! I hope he isn't cross and sad, and didn't see!! 
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 03, 2008 around 23:02 |
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Dec 03, 2008 22:59
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Buml0r posted:"What would you say your mother's name is, boy?" Wait a minutes, that's my mum's name too. Could this be a part of the Christmas Mirikl?
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Dec 03, 2008 23:02
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Buml0r posted:AAAAAARGH FASTER RUN FASTER!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 03, 2008 23:05
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Buml0r posted:Is he smirking?!?! I suspect a trick!
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Dec 03, 2008 23:13
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Buml0r posted:Grab it. The presents are all wrapped, and the tree is in it's place, 'Tis the season to disrupt the flow of time and space!
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Dec 03, 2008 23:17
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Okay then, okay let's see what happens if we turn this crazy sand timer upside-down. Here goe.... Heeree... goooeeee.... Oh, nothing happened. Oh wait that's because it takes a day! We've got to wait a DAY NOW! How will I bear the wait! Oh, this might help. Look, there was a chocolate on top of it and it fell off when we turned it over. It's okay it landed on this nice little christmas tree on the floor, the branches caught it. That's funny why would there be a christmas tree growing out of the floor? The flore's all cracked like it just sprouted up through there. Never mind anyway! Let's om nom on the chocolate. We didn't find a calender yet, but we've found chocolate every day! Hooray! I - - oe dear OOEOEEEEEE DEEEARRR!!! OOOEOEOEOEOOOEEOEOOEOOOOEEEEEOOOOOEEOOEE DEARR!!! Oh dear mates, I don't know how to describe it! I just looked at what the chocolate's of that came from the Account, and it was horrid! It was sort of... sadness! It was a chocolate in the shape of sadness! When I turned it over, it didn't seem to have a proper shape, but when I looked at it properly it resolved in my eyes into a really sad thing, a REALLY sad thing! It was the shape of... well it's difficult to describe! There was a big tree, but it didn't have any decorations on! And there were strings looped on things but they didn't have any lights on! And there was sno, but no children there were throwing any snoballs! they were just punching each other! And there were men with beards and not one of them looked jolly or had a red hat on!! It was like a world without christmas mates and I didn't like it at all! Oeeoe I'm really sad now! And it felt so weird. Like when we held the quantum chocolate. I don't think that's actually what it looked like, I think that it's different depending on who sees it, you see your saddest thing! Oeee dear no Christmas would definitely be my saddest thing! I can't bear it! I wonder what would happen if I showed it to all of you. It would probably have to be one thing to suit everyone, like a sort of average of what is the saddest thing for all you m80s. That's really interesting actually let's see what happens if I show it to you all at once. I bet it won't be so sad if it's got to be a little bit of everyone's saddest thing. it will be less sad because it has to spread out to be sad for everyone, so it can't be anyone's MOST sad thing. do you see? dys? i will turn it. readdyyy...  OOOEOEOEEOOOEE
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Dec 04, 2008 00:06
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I'm not eating that choclikt.
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Dec 04, 2008 00:12
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I see Laika floating forever through space, eyeballs exploded, heart
still slowly beating.. breath becoming rapid... still full of love for
her master that sealed her in the capsule.
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Dec 04, 2008 00:20
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When I was a childer, I had a doggie who was a goldin laberdor. We were
both the same old as each other, but as I got bigger and stronger he
got older and more doggie-tired. One day his back legs wouldn't work
right and even though he wantid to chase balles and play and stuff he
couldn't run because his legs were not strong enough. We took him to a veternarry and he told us that Shane wuld not be playing fetchystik or chasin kitties no more and his legs would not get better ever. The vetman took him in a room and gave him medcin to make him well enough to go to doggie heaven. I never saw poor Shane again. I always thought he was in heaven with babby jesus and lots of bones to chu. Until I luked at that choco and it is him. He is trying to run over to lik my hand but his legs won't werk and he is makkin sad doggy sounds. I dun like this choco at all.
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Dec 04, 2008 00:45
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it is oekay appel he is waiting for you in heavn. the rode to chrissmas is bumpy and kind of like being in Flint sometims it's lonely and then there's bad things on the side. we'll get to there eventually
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Dec 04, 2008 01:00
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I will not nom the sad choco.
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Dec 04, 2008 01:12
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golden_appel posted:When I was a childer, I had a doggie who was a goldin laberdor. We were both the same old as each other, but as I got bigger and stronger he got older and more doggie-tired. One day his back legs wouldn't work right and even though he wantid to chase balles and play and stuff he couldn't run because his legs were not strong enough. I dun like this story it makes the salty water come from my eyeses I will not nom.
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Dec 04, 2008 01:18
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Oh m8 this is a sad Snattermas
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Dec 04, 2008 01:28
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I don't like dogs. I am nomming that shit up.
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Dec 04, 2008 02:03
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oe noe 
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Dec 04, 2008 02:30
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Quikle, nom the sadchoc, make it goe awayeee! NOMNOMNOM
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Dec 04, 2008 03:28
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I think I'll pass on the sad chocolate, thank you. There's enough
sadness in the world already without me associating sadness and
chocolate.
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Dec 04, 2008 04:36
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I almost forgot about Buml0r and Snatter again this year! But I am here now, so it's okay! I will nom nom that chocolate please because I have never had the misfortune of watching that episode, m8s.
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Dec 04, 2008 04:56
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Forget Trans-Siberian Orchestra - THIS is the Lost Christmas Eve.
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Dec 04, 2008 05:19
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I will nom the choc as the retconing bastards let me nom without fear.
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Dec 04, 2008 07:00
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