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it's the 1st of decembre! let's do opening our calendars! i been down the shops mates to get us a calendar because I fogot to get one for myself. It's dead good, not cheap or anything this, it's good. I got it from the shop over the road, it's a bit pokey but they do sell bags of sugar so that's good for when the sugar runs out or you need an advent calendar. apart from that, shit. IT'S COVERED IN NICE THINGS LOOK there's the little baby snata claus in the middle of the picture there, asleep in the sleigh where he was born because they only had a reindeer stable because they couldn't get into any hotels on account of all the immigrants and so what they had to do right, they had to get a load of stuff together and have little baby santa there because there wasn't not nowhere else. okay, and when he got born santa sat up and his eyes went on, and all the reindeer grew extra hair and stuff with radiation that came over them from santa. So, they were flying reindeer then, but they had extra hair. coming out of their eyes. and then look, what you have to do is to get the first door, you have to take hold of santa's zip on his trousers, because they'res big trousers and the zip a bit heaqvy for santa to undo so he can't have a wee! (hiow would he wee?) so you have to help him wee by hold his zip and give it a pull. and That's the door for number one, snta's flies! Go on, someone open it, we'll see what's inside. prob. a chocolate, it usually is.  edit - mum says it's bedtime but i'll have a look at what was inside the door you opened tomorrow, and then we can do another one until it's christmas!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 22:56 |
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Oh, wait, I think I know this... This is the post where somebody says, "This will end well," right? Am I doing this right, you guys?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:06 |
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On a totally different note to this thread, My advent calender is one
that gives me chocolates and I got a pengy today and an Angel..
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:08 |
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I don't know what a "calender" is. Did you mean "colander"?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:11 |
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No that's not a different note! you can all share my advent calendar but i want to know about yours too. what's a pengy tho?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:11 |
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I look forward to opening my Advent salamander.
iamyourgoldfish fucked around with this message at Dec 01, 2006 around 23:21
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:14 |
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I know you guys will probably frown upon this, but does anybody know
where to buy a shock image advent calendar? Family members would love
it, as most of them haven't been exposed to mutilated penises or
Goatse.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:15 |
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I have a neat one that my mom made years ago. It's a felt Christmas
tree with a pockets below for ornaments that you attach with a pin on
the tree each day. When I was little my dad would always put a $5 bill
in the Christmas day pocket.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:18 |
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Oh god, this makes me think of the fat kid from Bad Santa.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:19 |
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I've got one from the local lions club. So this means that maybe I will win something if my calenders number is drawn, but propably won't. Thanks mom! Seriously if I win something that's cool but I just wanted some delicious chocolate 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:20 |
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My mother bought me a Winnie The Pooh calendar and it has white
chocolate in it but I forgot to look at it, it was probably a bell and
a donkey or something.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2006 23:28 |
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Right then it's time we did today's calendar. Hello again by the way! Thanks to whoever opened door number one yesterday, let's look inside the zip and see what today's thing is...  SNATAS WILLY! chocolate shape and everything And there's a bit of paper with a song on: xmas is coming! The goose produces splat! Please put a penny in the kitty or the cat, If you haven't got a cat, then a dog'll have to do If you haven't got a dog, I SHALL FLUSH YOU DOWN TEH LOO. fun! an now it's day two, let's open the day two door.  Well this time Daddy Santa is sitting next to him and he's not looking very happy because iut's Mummy Santa who gets all the glory because daddy santa wasn't mentioned in the Big Book of Santa much. he's got a big grumpy face and you can pull on his lip to open his face up and that's the door for #2... ...  BIG CHOCOLATE SKULL, and it's got a strawberry filling but the chocolate's cracked so it's seeping out, and that's meant to be daddy santa's brain and skull-marrow and that. hehe, "bone marrow" it's like a marrow that grows in your bones, hehehe.  Also moan barrow, what ghosts use in the garden muhuhuh  See you again tomorrow for another door in advent calendar. What was in yours this morning?
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 16:01 |
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I.. uh... er... ah... Hmm. 
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 16:19 |
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No. No. Quiet. This is fantastic.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 16:24 |
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This is golden. This is going to make the wait so much nicer.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 16:27 |
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Maybe I'll buy an advent calendar with chocolates to join in the fun,
even though you should be posting in the VG multi-track thread where
you belong, buml0r (I was going to post there today because nobody else
is here to hear me, but I leant my microphones to somebody).
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 16:30 |
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I, the OP, am: (Choose one) a) dyslexic b) foreign and new to the language c) drunk My guess, C
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 17:22 |
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JeanneMarie posted:I, the OP, am: (Choose one) d) wildly creative and I can't wait to see what the fuck bizarre stream-of-consciousness shit he does next.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2006 17:27 |
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Right, yeah sorry, I was going to post earlier but I was having a slash. Time for another door then! #3 is difficult to find because it's drawn round the back of a donkey that's asleep in the corner. You have to reach into the picture to get your hand round behind him and open it, and that's not as tricky as it sounds. All you have to do is concentrate on the picture until you BELIEVE IT IS REAL. Remember, if you paint a tunnel on a wall, someone who thinks it is real can run through that tunnel. So you have to use magic zen things to make your brain believe in the picture... and then... *hummmm* right, now I can reach in and - oh!  Ha ha ha, silly me! hA HA HA ! I didn't quite believe in it yet. HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA H AH HA HA HA UA HA HA HA HA AH HAA!!! right, now I believe it. Here goes...  Carefully...  Ohoho! It was a trick door! You don't get a chocolate this time, because the act of believing the picture makes it react realistically! So there wasn't a chocolate inside, actually I just ripped the side off a donkey and all its guts sloshed out into the hay! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA AH AH AH AH AH AH AHA HA HA HAAHAHAHA AHA A HA HA AAAA!!!!!!!! on which sombre note i'm sad to say we must wait until tomorrow for exciting chocolates and christmassey pictures behind doors. It looks like they really haven't put one in for today. IT WAS A TRICK DAY! i won't feel right all day now, thanks a lot you dirty tubgrunts.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 16:34 |
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Over the past few years, I have complained to my mother about her not
buying Advent Calendars, which she normally did for December. She
bought about seven of them this year  I am a 20 year old college student.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 16:50 |
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my boyfriend's grandmother bought me an advent calender this
year...unfortunatly the chocolates in it taste like the expired last
year so every day I get a little bite of unpleasantness
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:24 |
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Dave, you zany chap. Who's going to clean those guts up, eh? MOHH OMLOMOHLMOHLOMUHUHUHO
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:28 |
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Dropkickpikachu posted:d) wildly creative and I can't wait to see what the fuck bizarre stream-of-consciousness shit he does next. I don't doubt the humor  Just having a hard time getting through the reading
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:29 |
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Buml0r posted:Also moan barrow, what ghosts use in the garden muhuhuh Edit:
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:36 |
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I can't stop giggling at this, and the bad spelling just makes it funnier. Voting 5.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:38 |
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Ahahahaha. Trick day. This is the greatest Christmas thread ever.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:44 |
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We had a few Lego Advent Calenders at Borders where I work, but they sold out quick and I never got one 
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 17:45 |
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I liked advent calenders, we each got one as a child. My younger
sisters couldn't resist the temptation of chocolate, and just opened
every door the night after they received it. Eventually my parents
stopped giving them to us, and settled for the counters we had made in
crafts class. Also, Buml0r, don't let PETA get wind of you little trick. They might be able to believe that some fancy unicorn painting is real and send it to gore you with its indestructable horn, Jumanji style.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 18:02 |
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  All my chocolates in the calendar last year came covered in glue :/ Either that or an over excited Cadburys worker put mine together
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 18:07 |
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wooooh woot!!!
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 18:46 |
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What a great thread. This will make every day until Christmas that much better.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 18:53 |
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Moan barrow had a little guffaw out of me
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 19:04 |
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This is the best advent calender OR calendar I've ever experienced.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 19:36 |
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I just threw out my actual advent calendar in favor of this one.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 19:40 |
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I love Buml0r so hard right now
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 19:42 |
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This is better than that awesome advent calendar that came with Playmobil!
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| # ? Dec 03, 2006 19:57 |
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i wanted the playmobil one but it was fifteen quids! FIFTEEN! Also I just noticed, look at that hat they've drawn the donkey with on the advent calendar. I think that was a clue I should've spotted before I tried opening the donkey. He's DONKEY HURTY (don quixote)!!!
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| # ? Dec 04, 2006 02:52 |
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And today's door, door number four, four number door be boor moor poor. if you look on the rafters...  some little scamp has etched a willy on the wood using a chalk. That's where door number four is!  Oh and inside is a little nest built by birds who live up in the rafters! The nest is made out of flake and the eggs are cadbury's mini eggs. Eat them. EAT THEM.  mini egg number one - mmmm.  Mini egg number two, mmmmm.  Mini egg number three - -HA HA HA! IT WAS A REAL EGG! YOU JUST ATE A TINY RAW EGG BELONGING TO A SNAKE AND NOW IT'S GOING TO HATCH IN THE WARMTH OF YOUR STOMACH AND EAT YOU FROM THE INSIDE! HA HA HA AHAHAHAH AH AH AH AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HAAA H HAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA AHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You:  MERRY CHRISTMAS, IDIOT! HAHAHAHAA A HA HA HA HHAAAAAAAAAH A HAH AAAAAAAAA no but now i feel sorry for you because i've been laughing at you too much. I know! tomorrow, I'll promise not to play another trick on you like that. After all, noww we've both been tricked once each haven't we, so let's be friends now. can we be friends now? can we be friends now? I'll do it properly tomorrow i promise. see you then! also, can I scav a Toffo off you? you had all the mini eggs so i;ve not had a sweet today. if you've got any red or banana ones that'd be good but just a normal one is cool too. not pineapple they're well mank.
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| # ? Dec 04, 2006 14:51 |
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Nice work Buml0r, it's nice to finally see some of your artwork, don't
think I've caught any before. Keep up the good work. I am hoping you
open Mary's stomach on the 23rd and pull out a little baby Jesus
foetus.
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| # ? Dec 04, 2006 15:22 |
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Hahaha awesome, if you keep this going it will be the coolest thing ever.
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| # ? Dec 04, 2006 15:53 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calender! let's open doors together