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Jormagund posted:I am hoping you open Mary's stomach on the 23rd and pull out a little baby Jesus foetus. i don't think that will happen it looks like a nondy nommy national calendar and it only talks abnout snata. It's a picture of the birth of snata claus. That's so it doesn't offend religion people. It's called "The Snativity" another door tomorrow!
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| # ? Dec 05, 2006 03:05 |
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It DECMEBAR TEH FIFTH let's see where the number five door is! umm... ummm.... Balls!! I can't find it m8s. I'll have to get out my super lasre microscope and try again. I got it for christmas last year off mum and it's a very super microscope. it will give me a previously unsurpassed insight into the true contents of this advent calendar. o by the way while i look have a look at this crude mspaint i've just knocked out of the lasre microscope. hang on where did i save it it's a bit cack though but it should give you an idea of what it looks like. wait a minute... hang on... umm... o here we are  okay so now i'm using it to look at the calendar... Oh no, now all I can see is a loadof molecules! Hehe, they're all different colours and all nobbly, looks like a sheet of bubble-wrap.  I'd best just zoom out again, see what I'm looking at. Oh look, the sleigh where baby Santa born is inside a shed, and round the side of the shed look you can see some people coming over teh hill.  Who's the first one?  It teh happy POSTMANG, he's got a letter for sntanta, but we best zoom-in again with the microscope see if we can see what it say on the eveleope. Ooh, it say, "LITTLE BEBBY SANTA", and now we've got the microscope we can see that door five is the letter itself, so let's open it with these tweezARZE. *rustle rustle hohohoho* Yeah! YEAH MAN! I got a letter here, little tiny letter for baby snata. WOW, I'M BUZZIN'! Let's see what it says, y'all! DEAR SNATA HEHEHE HELLO M8, PLS CAN YOU GROW UP AND BE SNTA SO I CAN ASK YOU FOR LOADS OF PRESRENTS PLS, WOULD THAT BE OKAY? ALSO I WILL NEED DVD OF TORCHWOOD COS I MISSED IT AND I'LL NEED A DVD PLAYER TO PLAY IT ON WITH SURROUND SOUND AN ALL THKS BYE SNTA. PS. I WILL WANT GOOD THINGS FOR CHRISTMAS LIKE GAMES AND DVDS AND STUFF LIKE THAT, SO PLS DON'T JUST MAKE BOLLOCKS LIKE ROCKING HORSES AND CARTS IN YOUR WORKSHOP WHEN YOU GROW UP THANKYOU BY Dun say who it's from! Could be the qyeen, probably! And then there's a little tiny chocolate, best eat that.  Oh, it expands in your mouth look, so it's not such a stupidly tiny size! Ho ho! Oh, it keep expanding? Have you swallowed it yet? Good, should beall right.  Oh mang, it keep expanding still?  Oh my!! Look at your belly getting bigger!  Ha ha, you is a BIG HUGE HUFTY MUNTAR! HA HA HA AH you're gonna EXPLODE DUDE!! EEEEE - HEEH HEEH HEEH HEEEEEE *kerboosh!!*  hohoho, you went everywhere mang! I'm gonna be scraping you off the wall for weeks! With my teeth! hehehehe cause you's mostly chocolate now anyway so you'll taste niiicee. BYE BYE, tyomorrow new door!
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| # ? Dec 05, 2006 14:42 |
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The queen would not watch Torchwood because she is too classy for that OK 
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| # ? Dec 05, 2006 14:49 |
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Unkempt posted:The queen would not watch Torchwood because she is too classy for that OK No way dude! She is totally hot for Captain Jack in her fanny.
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| # ? Dec 05, 2006 16:49 |
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The little Christmas thread that could. Poor daddy Santa. Poor donkey. Tomorrow I am hoping for a poor reindeer.
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| # ? Dec 05, 2006 17:14 |
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Number six today! Or because this is the internet it might be a
different day where you are but i DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. ALL RIGHT? so
sod it. Anyway, remember there was a willy drawn on the rafters? well the person who drew it can be seen running away from the little shed! It's a little elfey boy! He's the legendary Dooley, the big grand old elf who run everything when santa grows up.  why? why he runs it in the future? because he did draw a willy and he get caught in a minute and forced to work for teh baby santa as he grows up. The in-charge elf is there doing his community service! Muhuhu pull on Dooley's ears...  and the door opens...  AND A SHARK JUMPS OUT AND EATS YOU! HA HA HA, YOU GOT EATED... BY A SHARK! Moh... mohh... MOHOHOHOHOHO! but that was not a very interesting one compared to yesterday, i thought. i didn't get to show off my lasre mic0rscope today. let me have a rummage around see if there's anything else in this door. no there doesn't seem to be... wait...  what is this?  it is a ten foot tall disemboded head floating through the air! But whose head is it?  It's actor Richard Burton! No-one would have believed! he is here to read some "Yeats" poetry. "And sometimes liye a gleaner thou dost yeep Steady thk laden head across a brooy; Or bk a ckder-press, with patient looy, Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours." thankyou actor richard burton. he's floating away now because someone is shooting red lasers at him. by by richard burton there he goe he gone. but so far we've met baby snata, daddy snata and dooley head elf who draw willy to the rafters. maybe tomorrow we weill learn more about....: THE INTERESTING LORE OF SNATA CLAUS bye by, see you tomorrow. oh watch out for the shark again! you got eaten by the shark again.
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 17:10 |
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I really, honestly don't know why this thread isn't more popular. I enjoy opening this advent calendar with you Buml0r 
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 17:17 |
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evidently, i'm not talk in it enough. I open a door and then the thread goe to page 3. let's talk about chrismtas to stop that. I like christmas, we go and wave at cars from a bridge and see if they beep theiur horns. then we open presents with family. What do you do at christmas time at christmas time at christmas time, what do you do at christmas time, oh tell me tell me do?
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 17:21 |
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Buml0r posted:evidently, i'm not talk in it enough. I open a door and then the thread goe to page 3. i buy one advent calendar every day for 25 days and eat 25 pieces of candy each day because i am bad and open all the doors at once
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 17:30 |
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Buml0r posted:Holy shit. Did you trace that? Also this thread is amazing.
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 17:42 |
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Buml0r posted:m8s I could have gone my whole life without seeing this.
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:02 |
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I feel the Spirit of Christmas in this thread. :santa:
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:04 |
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On christmas time I go and sit with lots of people who aren't related
to me and try not to get drunk because that's the punnishment for
dating someone too long. There will likely be chocolate though, so
that's nice. I love your Advent Calendar BumlOr. It's the first one I've seen where the blood and gore weren't only in my head!
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:05 |
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Buml0r posted:also, can I scav a Toffo off you? you had all the mini eggs so i;ve not had a sweet today. if you've got any red or banana ones that'd be good but just a normal one is cool too. not pineapple they're well mank. Take that back, the pineapple ones are the best! This is fantastic. My real advent calendar is made of felt, with little stockings on it that I put Celebrations and Cadbury Heroes in, but it's boring compared to this thread!
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:11 |
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Buml0r posted:For some reason I read this as "Adventure Salamander" I think i would have liked that thread better
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:16 |
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GutBomb posted:For some reason I read this as "Adventure Salamander" How can you not like this thread more, it's amazing I can't wait to see the rest :santa:
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:19 |
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Buml0r posted:I like christmas, we go and wave at cars from a bridge and see if they beep theiur horns. What do you do if the car beeps its horn, or, if it does not beep its horn?
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:23 |
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Because I couldn't see an image in the first post, I just thought this was going to be full of rambling. Now that I see how FUCKING AWESOME it is, I wholeheartedly approve. Since I won't have an advent calendar this year, I will be happy to watch you open yours, Buml0r.  :santabeard:
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 18:24 |
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kiimo posted:
well don't make me downgrade you to a m7
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 19:20 |
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Buml0r posted:well don't make me downgrade you to a m7 buml0r m8 are you always this jolly or do you just have the christmas sillies?
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 19:25 |
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B40C posted:What do you do if the car beeps its horn, or, if it does not beep its horn? I go and have a wave at cars with buml0r as I am his Good Womang. when people dont honk i do this.  but when they honk and sometimes they wave, i go and do this!  This thread is as happy as a honking car on Xmas day!!!
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 19:43 |
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I'M A SHARK! made me so happy. I'll be in this one for the long ride.
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 19:51 |
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yeah okay Zack McCool
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 19:57 |
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Giant Richard Burton Head  edit: looks more like beavis without a micr0scope
0d fucked around with this message at Dec 06, 2006 around 22:32
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 20:15 |
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Buml0r, you have saved Christmas for me :santabeard:
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 20:16 |
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I have stumbled upon something great. This thread is why I will keep checking the forum everyday. 
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 20:22 |
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It did not feel like Christmas time before. Now it feels exactly like Christmastime!
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 20:29 |
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Hey now! You said you wouldn't trick us again. Now we go and get
exploded and then eaten by a shark - TWICE. No fair. All I wanted was a
bit of candy.
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 22:24 |
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It'd be really cool if the OP or someone else made a flash animation out of this :>
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 22:43 |
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it's beginning to look a lot like christmas
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| # ? Dec 06, 2006 22:57 |
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Helloed. here are some replies.Lazenca posted:Take that back, the pineapple ones are the best! they're well rank. they rank up there with the best of them (in a bad way). That said they're still nicer than many other sweets. Except fizzy jerks, remember those? they made my tongue cry with happie. Comix Bitch posted:I go and have a wave at cars with buml0r as I am his Good Womang. when people dont honk i do this. I can come firm that she does exactly those things. ImaPirateArgh posted:Hey now! You said you wouldn't trick us again. Now we go and get exploded and then eaten by a shark - TWICE. No fair. All I wanted was a bit of candy. I noe! I'm sorry, it's the advent celander's fault not mine! But I'll try and actively protect you from harm tomorrow, i don't think anything should go wrong, but you never know what could happen! In: THE ADVENT CALENDAR. plus you keep doing stupid stuff Cosmo Brown posted:buml0r m8 are you always this jolly or do you just have the christmas sillies? I have the christmas sillies. here they are 
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 02:03 |
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What I do is I buy 25 seperate advent calenders and eat one whole box
over the course of the day. Theres something about advent chocolates
that is just so much better than normal chocolates... they are made
from the milk of the elf women I believe.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 02:25 |
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I hate advent calendars; they should make them so that all the numbers are the same. <>
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 02:25 |
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This is beautiful and you have made me happy for christmas! And you included the jolly goddamn postman! 
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 02:39 |
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xigua posted:I hate advent calendars; they should make them so that all the numbers are the same. < wot? what good would that do? you wouldn't know which one to open and you'd go mad  don't go mad
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 14:09 |
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This is like every Christmas Gary Busey or Tim Leary (until he died) celebrates. Absolutely amazing, keep up the good work.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 14:19 |
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nice to see peeple* getting into the spirit of christmas. * i noe that's spelt wrong, but it's funnier that way muhuhu 0d posted:Giant Richard Burton Head loev. You win the next door! as we have already seen, There's some people coming to visit teh baby snata who live far away, and the next one is a costume designer called Mincey Twirleypooft.  He's got a big red coat with him that he reckons sntat will grow into nicely as long as he eats enough pies, and so it's got a picture of a mince pie sewn into it because they make you uberfat, they've got "mincemeat" AND pastry and he wants santa to get really fuqq'n fat mate.  As well as that he's drinking a can of coke!  so someone open the can of coke door and let's see what happens...  ...WHOA MAN! WE'S FALLING THROUGH THE CAN OF COKE INTO A STUPID DIMENSION WHERE EVERYTHING'S MESSEDUP! Santa's not a baby any more, he's a massive mecha! Run away! We'll hide in the nearest domed city and see if there's another door there tomorrow. Probably will be. Oh mate i can't wait for tomorrow's one.  This = best advent calendar evar.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 17:07 |
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Buml0r posted:This = best advent calendar evar.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 17:20 |
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I am learning a lot about both Christmas and England in this thread.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 17:28 |
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At first I wasn't sure what was going on, but I kept reading on because I thought I might like it. Turns out I really, really did. 
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| # ? Dec 07, 2006 17:31 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calender! let's open doors together