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Squiggle posted:I am learning a lot about both Christmas and England in this thread.
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| # ? Dec 12, 2006 16:45 |
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GoblinBomb posted:Can you eat the banisters? I just et some and they were yummy Twiglets which is very good & great unless you hate the Marmites. Buml0r: does your mum noe about tomorrow is St Lucy's Day?
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| # ? Dec 12, 2006 17:00 |
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I have no idea what's going on here, but it's making me 
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| # ? Dec 12, 2006 17:03 |
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Hey Buml0r I feel jipped! You didn't open any doors today! Instead, you
made a banister appear from nowhere and I don't like that. vvv He says he opened a door but what kind of door was it? We don't see the door!!
Cuw fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2006 around 18:21
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| # ? Dec 12, 2006 17:29 |
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What are you on about?Buml0r posted:Now let's open the door and see what we get...
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| # ? Dec 12, 2006 17:41 |
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Cuw posted:Hey Buml0r I feel jipped! You didn't open any doors today! Instead, you made a banister appear from nowhere and I don't like that. Sorry cuw I obviously didn't express myself properly as i was being stared at by the Mum That Be and that makes the best of us type nonsense. I did say though, I just did it a bit badly. The door was "near" the Antisanta. You know, just a door really. There wasn't anything unusual about it. Oh, well, it did have a picture of your mum naked on a bed. BUT THAT'S NOT UNUSUAL FOR ME SO I DIDN'T MENTION IT. mohh mohhomolhohoh see what I did, hoho (nah we're cool tho rly.)
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 01:46 |
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Man, I just need to say "thanks", Buml0r. I always wondered what happened to all those left-over canisters, and now you've shown me that they all ended up in these wonderful advent calendars. Awesome! This thread is filled with the occult magic of Christmas!
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 04:19 |
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Yep. "Disposed" is industry talk for "full of trumpy lumpy banisters" you find that out in the directors commentary.
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 10:57 |
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I am very glad you didn't show me a picture of my naked mom. You really are a good friend!
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 12:33 |
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Sorry this one's a bit later than usual, but this is because... well, let me tell you the storye. so i was in town doing a bit of christmas shopping (well mum was, i was basically looking around the cool shops like hmv and that, see what i want for christmas), and then something odd happened. i was wandering around in the shopping centre, right and i passed by this place, where this old chinese bloke he sells like second hand stuff and scrapbooks and newspaper cuttings and he knows all about this advent calendar, cause he's the one who sold it to me! anyway he only had shite stuff there that day, it was cack so i was all "yeah no it's good stuff but i'm not really - I'll probably come back later when i've been round a bit, you know" and then suddenly right, and just entirely out of the blue yeah, there was this totally mong power cut! So it's all black in there yeah, like when it's that dark at night that you have a go opening and closing your eyes to see how there's just basically no difference. And what happens then is, someone lets off behind me, I think that's what it was and then at this point they obviously sort it out because the place lights up again and people start walking about, and over in the corner was danny john jules and some mates doing a song, and then you're not going to believe this but the chinese bloke's shop yeah, now there's a little display stand I hadn't seen before, and it's just got a bit of paper on. And I have a look, and the bit of paper says Look to the coming of the Herald And I'm like right, I definitely know this wasn't here before. But I nicked it from him anyway. And i got away with it too. what on earth does that mean...? So! I'm bkac home now and I've got the calendar here, and let's see where the door for number - what is it now? 13? Where number 13 is. Oh right there it is, today's door is on the moutain of booze bottles lying at the foot of one of the reindeer look.  And I knoe what's going on here as well. Mum's not watching today but i did look into that book she gave me anyway, because it looiks like the book knoes about more or less everything on the calendar. So this reindeer apparently, He's fine now but by the time all the reindeer grow up he gets into a serious alcohol problem and all of the other reindeer generally laugh and call him names.  ^^^ drunk reindeer BUT TEH SNATA SAVE HIM, and then puts him through a rehabilitation course and eventually he's sorted. Isn't sanat great! O sorry. I should say that my mum raised an issue yesterday. She said that because I've been a bit messy and keep spelling Santa wrong, people might think that i'm leading you up a merry garden path or something, i can't remember what she said. but basically it was that she was worried ppl will think that I'm going to reveal at the end that I've actually been mis-spelling satan instead of snata. So listen up cause i'm here to tell you now that is not the case. I'm talking about the Santa Claus with christmas and presnets, and all that. Just before anyone gets all clever and thinks this is going somewhere it's isn't. so let's have a look at that door then. What's inside?  A teeny weeny mutter of utter gutter splutter butter.
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 20:30 |
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I get the feeling this has got to be linked to door 15 from the
alternate dimension. Please do not be feeding me the utter gutter
splutter butter.
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| # ? Dec 13, 2006 20:52 |
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one thing's for sure, i wouldn't eat any and then go to the other dimension.
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 01:33 |
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I ate the teeny weeny mutter of utter gutter splutter butter.... It is of the tastes bitter.... EDIT: still here though...
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 02:18 |
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Fumchly-dee Wumchly-doo Fiddly-dumch-fadaa! I will be late doing today's, because I have to spend time with my friends in the comic shop. Tune in later. Like, night time if you live in England. Or like the middle of last week or whenever it is if you're in merkania.
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 14:58 |
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AND NOW Door fourteen! It's on the cauldron of magic potion that sits in the corner of the room.  In the classic snativity story, Snata is carried out of the stable soon and is dropped into teh cauldron. This gives him the following magical powers: fatness and beard growth. These things are powered by consumption of mince pies and milk. It has been previously speculated that the potion also gave him the power to stop time on christmas eve in order to deliver all the presents, but actually scientific reports have proven that time does actually run 99% more slowly on Christmas Eve night than at any other time. A minute can pass in human time and a glance at the clock will reveal you're still in the same minute as you were ten minutes ago. This happens to adults as well as children. DON'T DENY IT.
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 22:35 |
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Buml0r posted:AND NOW Could Snata and Obelisk (From the Asterix comics) be the same person? Both dropped into a cauldron of potion as babies, both fat with facial hair, and both with powere?
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 22:39 |
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Why you not open him door? I'm needing my five daily items of fruit & chocolate is my fruit of choice! (or twiglets) btw ObeliX 
Radio PhoolCat fucked around with this message at Dec 14, 2006 around 23:05
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 22:59 |
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When is a door not a door? ... When it's ajar rofl. I see no jars.
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 23:01 |
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Radio PhoolCat posted:btw ObeliX Ah, fucknuts. I had a feeling I had it wrong. 
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| # ? Dec 14, 2006 23:28 |
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Bumlor, why have you shown us the door but not opened it! I have been
trying to imagine the picture as real for an hour now but I can't get
my hand to go into the picture to open it.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 00:54 |
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If I eat a mincepie too, will the door open? I enjoy pie, but am not sure if I like mincepie.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 01:02 |
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Gosh you're absolutely right. I'll open it now. Oooh! I can see what's inside and it's quite interesting! I'll show you later when I can get on the computer with all the stuff on it for showing you pictures.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 01:03 |
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OK i'm on the computer now and... well... I'm not entirely sure how to represent what I saw inside that door. I can't take a photograph, I can't do a drawing, but I can try and explain. There was a chocolate. just a normal one of a stocking  But that wasn't all. It's... it's as if... Somehoe, by going into that other dimension, we broke spacetime. i don't knoe how that would work but it's like the veil separating us from the other dimension, but more dimensions too, is injured in places, and this calendar seems to be the bandage. As I open these doors it's as if I'm pulling apart the seams of spacetime. but not just generally... we are tearing the frabric of christmas, across multiple realities. wWhat i saw inside that door... it was...  An infinite number of chocolate stockings, but at the same time one stocking, of infinite depth, reaching back across the multiplane in a perfect Fibonacci spiral. and here's the scary part As i saw it my eyes watered as i felt a deep connection with the universe, and as i stared, these infinite chocolate stockings, this one limitless spiralling chockoling, came into focus. and these millions of positions and possibilities, these potential dimensional chocolates, arranged themselves in a three-dimensional matrix where, like in a colourblindness test or a Magic Eye picture, I could discern a number of chocolates which were somehow separate from the others, though not separated by space. These were the 'important' chocolates, the ones which could, in a number of different possible ways, affect me. They hung there in space, significant and standing out impossibly against a backdrop of infinite chocolates. And they spelled out a message. The Herald of Christmas Cometh ...
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 02:08 |
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Bumlor you should figure out how to harvest this chocolate. We could
make millions by selling chocolate boots. Do you think we could repeat
the process ever again?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 04:35 |
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This thread is a thing of beauty. excited to find out what'll happen
with the Herald, apparently its not just a wanky Scottish newspaper.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 04:41 |
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Buml0r posted:...And they spelled out a message.  You have a stonger mindal constitution than I - my mind is completely blown just from your post describing your experience!Cuw posted:Bumlor you should figure out how to harvest this chocolate. We could make millions by selling chocolate boots. Do you think we could repeat the process ever again?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 07:57 |
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Cuw posted:Bumlor you should figure out how to harvest this chocolate. We could make millions by selling chocolate boots. Do you think we could repeat the process ever again? Forget about harvesting it, Bulmer said that chocolate is ours, I'm going to eat my share, SCRUMPH! Oh God, what if it expands in my stomach? Yikes 
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 15:52 |
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I don't think it will expand but it might make you one with the manifold.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 16:00 |
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That sounds a bit gay, not sure if I'll like that Anybody got an emetic?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 16:33 |
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wrrxthal. jgarynaijijgknah. urngu. Fguchnaldrao dear mates i think we've really messed with the spacetime continuum here. i wasn't sure i'd really be arsed to open the whole thing especially since not many people are joining in, but this just seals it. i've got to press on, if i don't open the whole thing then the whole univGRUHNJAKLLKH KNAAF BRADJGROF o m8s URGHLAJ NEOJNQF NMFE. NQQKALG RLASS it's the different dimensions! they spilled together in one moment! but why?? why?? WHAT HAVE WE UNLEASHED UNTO THIS SORRY WORLD??? :O o btw today's door is whatever the hell that picture is of the girl and the clown that just appeared... i'm scared to touch it though and what's that overhead... a star, moving across the night sky... it's coming towards us D: i'm scared lads.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:28 |
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Oh fuck! The rapture. Hell I'm turning Christian and repenting my sins.
Wait how long will this take to get here? How much time do I have. Shi.. There must be time to burn and pillage first.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:37 |
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It'll be okay! Just keep pressing on. Don't be tempted to open more
doors at once, as that'll REALLY mess things up. Soon, Satna will come
and save us all.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:40 |
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It's ok, I recognise that, it's TEST CARD F! As used by Auntie Beeb in
the olden days of pre-24hour telly - it's a MESSAGE FROM THE PAST
maybe?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:41 |
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Jormagund posted:It's ok, I recognise that, it's TEST CARD F! As used by Auntie Beeb in the olden days of pre-24hour telly - it's a MESSAGE FROM THE PAST maybe? yeah mum said it was something to do with old telly AND THEN SHE CLAWED OUT HER EYE'S i hope we come out of this ok. the dimensions aren't making any sense D:
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:46 |
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OH NOES YUOR MUM!!  I hope this is just a dimensional effect and your real mum she is fine. Did anyone bring any string?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 19:54 |
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it looks like they are playing tic-tacs. maybe if we beat them at tic-tacs the universe will be saved.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 20:08 |
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well they're minty and delicious and offer fresh breath at only 1 calorie or something butr i do not see how tic tacs will help the universe feel free tho
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 20:11 |
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Buml0r posted:i wasn't sure i'd really be arsed to open the whole thing especially since not many people are joining in Lots are reading and enjoying. What do you want us to do exactly?  We don't know how to save the universes from dimensions and stuff. You are our only hope. Just touch the scary door and see if there's chocolate or dimension glue or something. I hope it's not poo again.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 20:16 |
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I putted "tic-tacs" into the gogglefish language translatoring thingie
and it turns out it's a merkin way of saying Naughts' and Crosses's, so
should we play that instead perhaps?
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 20:17 |
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Shhh nobody is supposed to know that Radio_Phoolcat is my parachute
account. Kalleboo will kick me out of gbs-fm for sure if he finds out.
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| # ? Dec 15, 2006 20:18 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calender! let's open doors together