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O! Hello, o. It's the 1st of decembre again everyone! nearly xmas which is very exciitng, because then you can do things like these: * Have a tree in the house (what, a tree in the house, taht is not nature) * Have lots of lights, which Mum says have really big footprints, but they do not have feet! * Have PRESENTS, delivered from SNATA CLAUSE! I love snata. Do you remember last year we didn't have a calendar loads of us, so I went over to the shop and got us one? Remember, and we thought it might have chocolates in, and instead it had multidimensional hyperdisaster inside, and hehe, remember, the very heavens were rent asunder, and from the depths of infraspace there poured forth those most foul apparitions of the nightly ether, clashing time with space and space with time, and rending the very firmament of the Universe? hehe, also you ate some of my poo you filthy mong. Well, this time i've bought a proper calendar, it's not a stupid weird one like that this time, it's a proper one. I bet loads of ppl here didn't remember to get an advent calender, so let's try and do it properly this year, and every day we can open another door on this lovely: Advent Calendar. Okay so, let's have a look at it. Well, the picture on it is like a big castle, and you can see into the rooms and that's where the doors are this time. O! Wait, I knoe what this is actually! remember last year mum said I was being a bit naughty, so she made me read a book about Snata's birth in the stable (which is called The Snatavity)? Well, the book was not only about Santer's birth but all of him. And it said, a few years later Snater goes to Elf School in a big castle like this. The school is called: Elf School. Yes look, here, it says in the book. It say: Snata Book posted:SO when Snata was born, he was visited by some people, and the last of these was the wise old Burgess Meredith, the most in-charge elf in the whole pole; the Whole north Pole. And he gave Snatter the power of Having A Beard. Because of all this faffing about (this isn't exactly what the book sae, the book is boring so I'm making it better), Snata was now a young boy, but with a great big beard. Remember this? He came down from a star on some butterfly's, and he said nice things to BAby Snatter  and then snatter got BEARD  We saw that last year. Snatter Book posted:Snater's dad was already quite embarassed about the whole thing but that just took the biscuit, and so he left the slé where snater was born, and went round the front of the stable, and went into the hotel whose stable it was to talk to the bloke there. And the bloke went "No room, I told you, there's just too many immigrants", and Daddy Snatter went "Do you need a stable boy? My son is a nice baby, even though he seems to have powers of laser beams and eyes that make reindeer hairier and flying, and he definitely has some sort of Christmas powarz after a christmas spider bit him, but also he has a big beard and that's a bit odd so really he wants a job where he can not be seen my any humans." Bloke at the hotel said "ye", and so that was Snater's job from then on. What a boring snatter book. So, years and years later, the hotel stood quietly on a hill in the North Pole.  Hotel ppl who want to stay at a hotel did that, at the hotel, but they never knew that round the back (of it) was a reindeer stable, and in the stable there still was the slé in which the baby Snata slept. (of it.) These days, everyone's forgotten about all that weird quantum Christmas stuff that happened, and Snata is just a boy (with a beard), called Christopher Nicholas Kringle, which is a lot of names because his mum and dad couldn't decide whether he should be called Chris or Claus (they had a lightsaber fight over it tho which we saw last year if you remember and Mummy Snater won so she got to call him Chris, but she let his middle name be Claus). His job is doing barn things, like raking hey.  HEE HEE THERE IS REINDEER POO IN THE HEY  Well. The people at the hotel aren't very nice to snater, and doesn't always let him read his post. But one day loads of post started coming in for snater, little letters that come flying through the sky and go down the hotel's chimney, and the hotel feller goe "I'm cross! I'm not letting Snater have his letters if he's getting them through the CHIMNEY." But then... one dae... a mysterious figure arrives at the stable. There is a sort of special Christmas Glow about him and he has a nice jumper on, and him beard is soft and his hair is interesting and generous, and he is a friendly man who lets loads of people comes to his house and then he abuses them  He say he is called the "First Noël," not his name but his job, it is a sort of man who goes round finding people who should go to Elf School. His name is Pear. "Your a ELF, Harry," he say. And Snatter goes "WHAT'S MY NAME? SAY MY NAME." because he's grumpy about all the poo. And the first Noel says "Oe sorry, I ment Chris." And Snatter calms down a bit and he goes "What do you mean I'm an elf?" And Pear-Noël says: "Well, look at your beard. And yu're really small. You must be an elf. You get to go to an elf school, which is called: Elf School." Snatter goes with him straight away because he doesn't like spading up poos all the time. And they go to the train station and get on the Christmas Tree Train, and they go all the way to Lapland. And that is Story Of Snatter Getting To Elf School. So now we noe why there's a big castle on the calender, that's the school, and it looks like each day we'll get to see some lessons that they have, because there's windows in different rooms that we can see in cross section! OH GOOD! So! Time to open the first door! The first door is the big drawbridge to let you into the castle.  One of you can open it. If anyone wants to open it, say, and I'll choose one of you later today and you can open it, and we'll see what sort of chocolate and pictures is hiding behind the door!! Who wants chocolates?? OE THIS IS EXCITING AGAIN MATES. ...Hee hee, cross section. It's like an angry section. no wait that's not anything. Ooh, but because it's the very very start of december, it's still night, so it's basically yesterday. I should go to bed, so I'll choose someone to open the door in the afternoon and then we can have a Happy December Everyone!! Advent calender!!! 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:00 |
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OOo, I hope its the Christmas dictionary!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:02 |
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Holy shit, I'm crying with laughter because I have absolutely no clue what in the hell you're talking about.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:03 |
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I can't wait to find out!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:04 |
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OMG OMG ITS TIME AGAIN??? YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:05 |
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My god, it's like some kind of dyslexic, idiot-savant, Norwegian James Joyce.  Do go on.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:08 |
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AW! It's not yesterday it's tommorow! Open it now you prick
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:10 |
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No gunge?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:13 |
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I totally want to open that door. Dore.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:15 |
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I didn't get any chocolate from the last one. So furious.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:16 |
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Please give me some of whatever you're smoking.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:18 |
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So what's it like living with fetal alcohol syndrome?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:20 |
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Happy new year everybody! 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:21 |
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Why just the other day I was wondering if the advent calendar would return this year I look forward to getting yummy chocolate and horrifying pictures.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:23 |
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please tell me more about Snatter's BEARD
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:25 |
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There isn't a  big enough to express how I feel after reading that mess.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:26 |
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May I opens doore 2 on the second day?
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:28 |
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Someone with archives should look up his last advent calendar thread for everyone who has not seen it yet.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:32 |
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I wants to open all the dores in the middle of the night when all is asleep and have all the choklit to myself. 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:33 |
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Loved the advent calendar last year! Eagerly awaiting this year's festivities!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:36 |
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For the most chrissymassy peoples with archives, here are the events of last years advent! http://archives.somethingawful.com/...mp;pagenumber=1
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:36 |
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Argh! ^^^Verviticus posted:Someone with archives should look up his last advent calendar thread for everyone who has not seen it yet. Here you go Mooho mohmhomoo mhooooo!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:37 |
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I love my linky friend! Buml0r I hope you are buying me many chocolates to make up for all the poo I had to eat last snata day because you done tricked me. I felt bad in front of your mumme and dad having poo all on my things. :-(
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:47 |
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Looks like we're in for another mind-blowing adventure! 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:47 |
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Hooray! i was just thinking about last years thread today in college I'm so glad there's one for this year.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:49 |
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Im still trying to figure out how someone can misspell "Doors".
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:49 |
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Ooh ooh, pick me. I wanna open the door. (dore?) Is it dark chocolates behind the door? Because thats my favourite.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:51 |
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I was fucking terrified of Noel Edmonds when I was little  But yay, Snata
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:52 |
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LostCause posted:Im still trying to figure out how someone can misspell "Doors". It's a joke dimewit
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:54 |
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This gets me in the Christmas spirit more than the incessant Christmas
music that I hear from every speaker in existence come this time of
year
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 00:57 |
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Merry Christmas, mister Buml0r!! I have not moh'd a'plenty since last year, glad to see you're back!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:04 |
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Today I will open this door
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:07 |
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I wish these advent calendars were real. It would beat the dumb ones my relatives have.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:10 |
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I wasn't in the Christmas spirit at all until snata was mentioned. Now I'm full of childish delight!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:13 |
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How on Earth did I miss this last year?! Shame on me. Yay for Snata!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:22 |
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For the last four years i have found myself checking out the advent calender at http://www.x-entertainment.com/updates/ I guess the concept of an evil Mare Winingham killing santa just does something for me. I loved last years SA edition too, hell we've started a real one at my house, using hersey kisses, its a diabetics dream.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:23 |
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Is that the Pompey Spinnikar?!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:28 |
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How could anyone forget? WIGGLE HE! WIGGLE HE!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:36 |
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It's like Lewis Carroll was a dyslexic and instead of being a creepy pedophile he was just flat-out insane. This is gonna be great
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:40 |
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After last year I'd be honored to open one of the advent calender
dores, to sacrifice my corporeal body in the greedy hunt for more
chocolate
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:40 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calendar again! Let's open more dores!