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AtomicDrunk posted:How could anyone forget? That was my favorite part, it made me laugh so hard I made a little poop.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 01:48 |
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MOH HO HO! A whole nother year has passed already?? But hooray! for buml0r bringing it all to us again once more! 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 16:16 |
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okay well, lots of ppl asked to do the dore, So i've put your names all randomly into my hat* and drawn one out at random. * it isn't my hat, it's an explorer's hat. he was exploring and i nicked himme hat. And the winnar who gets to do the door is... THIS PERSON!  he is eager and raring to goe. Open the door good winnar! we don't knoe what is behind the door, it might be choclate! Lots and lots and lots of chocolate. Open the door and you might be lucky enough to get most of the chocolate before everyone else! It might all be full up behind the door, and it might come rolling out like an delicious avalanch when you open the door! Lots, and lots, and lots of chocolate. Go on, open it, what's the problem?  he very happy to be Picked. He open the door and what inside...  Why it's all of Snatter's little elfey friends who will be friends with him at Elf School! Yaaay this feels really christmassy. And lots of elf shaped chocolates came out to start us off! There's enough for everyone; yay! Look, there are some ppl we met last year! There in the middle is Duddles! Duddles! This is when he was little and hadn't died yet oh duddles. And next to him with the glasses is DOOLEY! Remember Dooley? He drawn willy to rafters when Snatter was little:  And he got caught and so he was made to work for Snatter when he grows up. But these days, because Snater was spading poo all his life, nobody knows who he is! SO Dooley is just a schoolboy at the moment and not working for Snatter. And over on their left (our right) is a boy called Puffy, who is fat! Ha ha he's a fat elf! Ha ha haa. HA HA HA HA HAA HAA. and there some other Elve's who we haven't met yet and will probbly be our friends at School! YES! And they're welcoming us in to the castle! Let us walk through the door into the lovely Elf School. o wait maybe we shouldn't walk through the door, as that's the sort of thing that got us into trouble last year, instead of just staying outside the calendar and opening dores like usual. Yeah but ELF SCHOOL though, this is going to be great. IN WE GOE! tomorrow, we'll see what lovely doors are inside: Elf School. !!!!!!!!! 
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 01, 2007 around 17:27
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 17:11 |
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I...I am so confused right now. This is going to be glorious.
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 17:23 |
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oh boy this is awesome! i want to open the dore tomorrow!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 17:30 |
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bawbzilla posted:This gets me in the Christmas spirit more than the incessant Christmas music that I hear from every speaker in existence come this time of year Me too. I loved the one last year, and regretted that I hadn't gotten an account yet, to show some Buml0r love. He gets double the love this year. 
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 18:10 |
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What is going on? Can someone explain this to me. I really don't get it...
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 19:49 |
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07 Users Suck posted:What is going on? It's Christmastime, silly!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 19:57 |
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07 Users Suck posted:What is going on? we got an unbeliever here...let him open the dore and show him the light!
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 20:02 |
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Buml0r posted:
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| # ? Dec 01, 2007 21:51 |
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BOYYYYY OH BOYYYY Prease let me open the next door. I know it is going to be fun times.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 03:26 |
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So...did Snatter draw the number 4 rocket penis thing? This dore was amazing.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 03:39 |
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This is probably going to be the best thread this month. Almost to day 2!
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 06:05 |
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But what if the dore has a lock on it?
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 07:19 |
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Buml0r posted:No, Dooley drew that. when he was very little he drew it in the rafters of the stable where baby Snata was born in a Sleigh. I'ven't either seen or heard of advent calendars in La Flordia, but this whimsly tradition rumbles me tinsely warm. Perhaps I shall construct my own at the advent of the next advent, with sand and citrus and reptilian meats. Praise Snatna.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 11:34 |
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well, an advent calendar is usully a big picture of christmas, and it
has little numbered doors hidden all over it. And you open them and see
what little pciture is inside! like a xmas tree! or a present! Here is one:  But in recent years they are been made by Nessles and Cadberries and so they have some balls picture on like a Dalek or Spider-man (both of those are actually pretty cule (yooltide version of cool) hello i'm in a bracket!), and inside the dors are chocolate, but not normally nice chocolat. But last year when I bought the calender, I got it from a shop where it's the only place I'd seen that calendar, and it turned out to teach us all about the birth of Snata, called the Snatavity. I bought this one from the same shop and it seem to be about Snatta at school. that Is berticulerly interesting, because the Big Book of Snatter, which is where we knoe most of stuff about him from, doesn't really say much about him at school. It jumps straight from him birth to being a man and getting a job making toys and stuff. some Kringlings get a bit uppity about this bit of the story but evidently not ppl who make these Special Calendar. i don't noe how they make them m8s.
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 02, 2007 around 15:13
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 15:11 |
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Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. This is getting me in the christmas
mood already. I wonder if we will learn how Snatter got his secret HQ
at the north pole.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 15:32 |
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AtomicDrunk posted:How could anyone forget? PULL HIM BEARD! I love you, Buml0r. This is the only thing that put me in any sort of Christmas spirit last year, and I'm not even exaggerating.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 15:46 |
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Buml0r posted:well, an advent calendar is usully a big picture of christmas, and it has little numbered doors hidden all over it. And you open them and see what little pciture is inside! like a xmas tree! or a present! They have them in Merkania, but ours have "TRADITIONAL ADVENT CALENDAR" on the front so you know what they are. The chocolate is pretty rank too, but when else are you going to get chocolate for breakfast with your parent's approval? Here's a picture of one of my kid's calendars (sadly they aren't as entertaining as yours and ignore the name in the upper right, don't know who Sophie is, usually we try to match the names to the kids, but this year we were too lazy.) Kalma decided to show you this image:
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 16:18 |
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Idimmu posted:Is that the Pompey Spinnikar?!
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 16:28 |
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^^^ Not a coincidence. This sort of thing started happening last year, and i'm worried it's bcause we went through the school door this time. Last year, see, we accidentally uncovered this sort of uber "quantum chocolate", the eating of which done a big hole in spacetime, so it ended up being every christmas ever, all on one day. I'm worried there might be still a bit of that lurking around if even the Bu-Cannon is talking about us now. Anyway so. DOOR TWO! Let's have a look for it. On the front of the calender the picture of the castle had doors all over the walls, so when you open the doors you'll be able to see Snatter Classes! But bcasue we're actually in the Elf School now, I bet we'll go into the classes, and then SHOVE THE WALLS and they will be DOOR WALLS. so here we are running about looking for a room called ROOM TWO. Oh look! Look what's happening in themain hall! omg! It's a very sombre occasion! The boys are lining up and being given their SCHOOL CLOTHES. Now, some elf's have come with their own clothes, like Duddles and that. But poor elfs whose parents don't have much money are being given standard issue clothes, which are green. Snatter is having a bit of a grump about his elf clothes, because green is just not his colour. But it's somber because Burgess Meredith, the great grand old great wise old Elfey man who is the head elf of everything - you know, the one who made Snatter have A Beard - is sitting in his great big grand reception chair, to greet the newcoming children and say a few words to them. HEE HEE A FEW WORSD WHAT IF IT WAS JUST RANDOM WORDS!! you know, like "nitwit" and "blubber" and "oddment" and "suppository" and "kapustynskyj" But noe, he say things like this. Burgess Meredith posted:Children! You are here because the outside world rejects you. This is your family! I am your father! Well no, that's all a bit strong really but, point is, you're all a bit weird and some of you have pointy ears and so - I want you all to become full members of the Elfen Breteren: the Elthebrethereferen." The boys are then sent up to the chair and they sit on Burgess' knee, and according to traiditon (I noe all this from my Snatter book), he goe "And what do you want for Christmas little boy?" and they go "I want to be an Elf!" and he goe "or maybe, even more." because remember they're on the lookout for a Snatter, a Chosen One. AND ONTO THEIR HEADS ONE BY ONE, burgess puts The Snatting Hat!  There's Snatter getting Snatted. The Snatting hat say: I am a Snatting Hatty A Hatty snatty Hat My lining's made of posh stuff, My stitching's made of splat. I haven't got a mouth, I've only got a tear, And if you look inside me there's a pungent sort of air. My purpose here is twofold, The fold of it is two: I do a bit of Snatting And I do a bit of poo. I'll tell you if you're Snatter If Snatting is your fate Cause that would be well super if you were hee hee oh m8. For I'm a Little Thingy! A Thingy's what I am! My head is made of broccoli My brain is made of spam! I've only got one ear I haven't got a nose! And when there comes a thunderstorm I whistle through my toes! OH!" he goe on like this for ages. Anyway he decides which one of them is snatter, and then keeps it a secret, because as well as being a magical hat, he im am bumhead. So I noe! Let's pretend we elves, we can sneak into the line of elves leaving and go and follow Snatter to his first lesson. hee hee. mohhohoho, it working. mohh omlo. Ok here we are, we are at: Beard Growing Lessons! Beard Growing teacher is called Mister Blessed.  Him beard = stately and brave. Mr Blessed teach the elves how to do beard growing. There's magic involved - there's actually a bit of magic going on in this school but it's all quite easy because it has to do with blowing snowflakes onto things and saying stupid little rhymes like "fiddly widdly fiddly foo, i grow beard and so can you" and things like that, i just made that up, that isn't it. Let's see how they do.  Oe, well, Duddles isn't growing a very big beard but it only his first day or something. Dooley is doing better but HE HE HEE look! Instead of it being a beard, it has sort of gone SPROINNNG out the both sides of his face! MOHH And that boy there with the pointy chin has one curly hair. muhhhh that quite funny. But not at all as funny as this kid, who has gone SO WRONG, he has actually gone SO MASSIVELY WRONG that instead of hair coming out of his face, he has SUCKED HAIR INTO HIS HEAD!!!  HA HA HA stupid boy with no hair now! He looks like he's someone's dad! No hair! HAHAHAHA HAHA stupid! But Snatter, now then, he's already got the best beard in all children, so he doesn't even have to exert any effort at all!  WOW look at his beard, it goe well with his speacial new Elf School clothes. Mister Blesed is very happy to see him be so AMAZINGLY good at having a beard, and he go "MOHH MOHH MOHH" in his bigfat voice.  He have AMAZINGLY BIGFAT VOICE. Mister Blessed is well wicked. So hurray, it looks like everything went quite well there. The only problem is this kid.  He doesn't look very happy at Snatter because he had a good beard but this kid didn't and just made his hair go pop away. He's giving Snatter a bit of a glare as he goes off to his next lesson. right, giz a hand with this wall and we can push it open and then that'll be the door open on the calendar then. heev heeeev yay we did. And now we've got the chocolate, and it is A CHOCOLATE BEARD! Help yourself to that, i've eaten just before this. Another lesson tomorrow and another door!!
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 18:17 |
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NOM NOM NOM Beard - the chocolate you can eat between dores!
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 18:27 |
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LostCause posted:Im still trying to figure out how someone can misspell "Doors". www.engrish.com I can't wait to see what is behind the next dore. I will be awake for it because my husband snoors.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 18:48 |
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I don't like the look of that forehead kid.
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| # ? Dec 02, 2007 19:41 |
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There are not enough dores in one day! Can I open all of them today? I don't have the patience to wait.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 00:21 |
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I love the little baby snatter, I have a picture of him at the foot of
my bed so that I can look at him as I fall asleep every night! I hope little snatter will wee on someone, when's the next dore! PS. I don't want any chocolate poo
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 04:16 |
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I just finished the old thread, I'm glad I made it in time for this new one!
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 06:05 |
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I think we shall do a doore. Well today according to the Times Tables, Snatter are got Flying Lessons! O YES. FLYING LESSONS. everyone is really, REALLY excited about flying lessons because they are FLYING LESSONS. Also they have heard from the 2nd years that the flying teacher is really nice. O look. On the way to flying lessons, the pointy boy make friends with Snater. He say his name is Peter Schwartz and he is impressed by Snatter's beard-having skills. He say Snater will probbly make a good elf!  So friends Snatter and Pete goe to flying lessons. Duddles looks a bit odd because he thought he was going to be snatter's friend, but snatter say he like him too and they both friends. yay! FLYING LESSONS!! Oh this is going to be mega! They're going to be taught how to fly using reindeer, and the flying teacher is called Dooper.  Dooper is hands down the nicest teacher ever in the world. Nobody can believe it, he's the absolute don of elf's. Here are just a few reasons why Dooper is gr8 m8: 1) He nice teacher and never do telling ppl's to shush (what a nice teacher he must be) 2) He FLY and make you fly (that brilliant, I like him) 3) Him beard = clouds and happy (what a beard! I love this guy) 4) PRESENTS appear using his elf powers  (oh god presents?? just randomly now and then?? I love this guy! You can follow him around and just get presents loads!) 4) Do The Mario!  (I love this guy!) all of these reasons and more: Dooper is dead good!! Dooper now tell's everyone how to do flying with Reindeer. First they feed them out of a bucket a special green food sprinkled with glittery stuff. Food is just food made out of food. But sprinkly stuff is the ground-down antler's of the original reindeer made to be flying (and have hairy eyeballs) when the little baby Snatter's eyes first came on and everything went magicle. This powedre gives Reindeer FLYING POWERS, and all you do is feed it them and say the special magic spell, which is too magic to reproduce here. But oh dear! Instead of saying the spell properly, that stupid kid without much hair is going to go and mess it all up by being naughty!  His name is Beazie Toiz (they have names like that where he from: Poor Land). And he say the spell like this: Beazie posted:"FIRE! and alabaster. RUMMY! canasta. When I say FASTER, I order... DISASTER!!!" Oh no what a bellend! :O So now they all start flying with reindeer. They're sitting in little seats attached to them with reins and such. But then just as everything's going well, Beazie go "FASTER" and this happen!!:  Oh dear!! Snatter is out of control!! He goe flying around madly and crash into other ppl, and they all go falling down! Aaaaaaaa- - - - crassshhhhhhhh!!! Everyone fall in a big heap in the snow on the floor!! Dooper walks up looking worried - not cross, cause he is Best Teacher Ever - and he go "oe noe what happened??" and nobody noe! But Peter Schwartz noe. "Sir! Sir! I saw him, it was Toiz sir. He was saying his spell wrong and then when he said something, the reindeer went wrong!" "I DENY IT!" say Beazie, "get my lawyer on the foeune! It was Kringle, he was the one who went mental in the sky with reindeer!" "Mental in the sky with reindeer or not," says Dooper in his wisdom, "picture yourself in the Head's Office!" "OE NOE!" Beazie say! "Not fair!" "We'll work that out later," Dooper says, "Kringle, plz accompany master Toiz to the Head of Year's office. He will deal with you and we'll see who did what. I'll put in a good word for the both of you, since nobody got hurt. But if this is the way you think is right to behave in Elf School, well then I'm afraid he and I will have to explain more clearly the sort of conduct we expect from you." Wow, that's diplomacy in action! He telling them off and nobody's even getting annoyed or anything! It's like Dooper, in his infy wisdom, has used an Infy Wisdom cheat or something. Snatter actually smile, ebcause he knows Dooper is fair, and so as he and Beazie go off to the head's office, he not even bothered. As he goe, Pete gives him a friendly wink. Nother door tomorrow! We'll see if Snatter get too told off or not.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 19:46 |
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I can't not read this in the salad fingers voice and it's freaking me out. And yet I can't look away 
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 19:52 |
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Arugula posted:I can't not read this in the salad fingers voice and it's freaking me out. And yet I can't look away !!SHIT!! Something was eerily disturbing me while reading it, I think you hit it on the spot. But continue, the next dore await..
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 20:21 |
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Arugula posted:I can't not read this in the salad fingers voice and it's freaking me out. And yet I can't look away Hah, that's funny - I read it in the Jerry Jackson voice, another comic video by the Salad Fingers guy. Buml0r's artwork is far better than either.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 20:53 |
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How come we didn't get chocolate today 
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 21:19 |
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Oe! That's a point! We can't just go without any chocolate today. The problem is that the flying class doesn't happen in a room, so we can't just push the wall open again. The chocolate must be hidden somewhere. Remember how craftily things were hidden last year! Have a look around and see if you can think where we should look for the chocolate.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 21:40 |
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I think i noe where the chocolate it is! is it there? nom nom nom!
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 21:58 |
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bulmer the chocolate better not be in the reindeer you are not tricking me into eating poo again
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:02 |
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I bet it's behind the obituary notice!
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:10 |
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yer a wizard, harry open dem doors
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:15 |
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This reads like the dyslexic bastard child of Roald Dahl and JK Rowling. It is amazing. I predict that the chocolate is hidden in the hay bale, or maybe just poop.
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:18 |
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Arugula posted:I can't not read this in the salad fingers voice and it's freaking me out. And yet I can't look away
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:21 |
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The Royal Nonesuch posted:Hah, that's funny - I read it in the Jerry Jackson voice, another comic video by the Salad Fingers guy. Absolutely, that's exactly how I read it. For those who want a good mental... voice? I guess, the flash vids are here
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| # ? Dec 03, 2007 22:51 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calendar again! Let's open more dores!