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choklate gudness!! yay! nom nom nom
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| # ? Dec 07, 2007 18:45 |
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mohh yes. but therse david bowiez.. they reminds me of a girl??
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| # ? Dec 07, 2007 19:09 |
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Oe oe! Dis (nom nom) choklirt Daveed (nom nom) Boweh is dlishes! Him gud singr's, but him's also teh hed of teh...lessee...Guild of Clammynes In Tens. Yeh. Him's bizeh.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2007 19:21 |
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If it is alright with you m8s, i'll take a David Bowy arm.
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| # ? Dec 07, 2007 21:04 |
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Moh we are certainly getting an All-Star cast this year, m80s! 
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| # ? Dec 07, 2007 21:57 |
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Oh sweet I came just in time for chocolate David Bowies.
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| # ? Dec 08, 2007 10:35 |
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Oe, I can't wait for today's dore! Am going kresmes shopping now, hopefully I can see what is behind it when I have returned~
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| # ? Dec 08, 2007 18:48 |
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Oh no! I'm a whole week late! But I'm ready for the adventure. And what happened to Dooper! 
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| # ? Dec 08, 2007 19:44 |
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Helloed! We are outside today, because today's lesson is an outside lesson. But first, I can see Dooper over there helping Snatter with his flying. Remember he saw Snatter be sad and offered to show him a trick? Well he's showing it him now! "Be sure your hands are steady on the reigns, Kringle! Steady! You can't lose confidence or the reindeer will feel it. Get some speed... that's right... now pull! Pull up!" Snatter pull on the reins and...  Snatter did it! He did Dooper's special move, which is called: The Dooper Looper. He gets out of the little slé once he's landed and does a little jumping dance! Dooper tells him he did really well and that one day he might be good enough to try the Super Dooper Looper. "What's the Super Dooper Looper?" Snater ask. "Imagine a great wheel in the sky, a grand circle traced in the stardust trail of the reindeer. It's a heck of a tricky move, because you have to keep those reindeer confident all the way up, and keep them flying fast enough that the centrifugal force keeps you in your seat on the extended upside-down stretch. But if you can do it, it's really, really stylish." "Wow, I don't think I'll ever be able to fly like that, Dooper!" "Oh, never say never! One day, maybe you'll be better at it than I am!" and Dooper give him a little pinch on the cheek and send's him on his way. To: Chocolate Picking Lesson The chocolate picking teacher, who called Groot (he's also head of the cookery department), tells them that every year during the period of Season's Greetings, the Star of Meredith appears in the sky and shines its light down on the normal-looking tree that is in fact the world's first Christmas Tree. And, like it did that very first Christmas (which we saw, remember?), its special light and power lights up the tree and it becomes the Christmas Tree again!  Each of the coloured lights that decorate its surface is a chocolate in it! And they're the purest of chocolates ever in the world. So the Elfe's pick them off the tree, put them in a special sack, and take them back to be used for the Season's Greetings celebrations and Christmas itself.  As they pick the chocolates off the tree, Dooley say to Snatter and Duddles that he's really been looking forward to this as he's a bit of an amateur astronomer and wants to learn more about Season's Greetings. Christmas Tree is part of astronomy because the star does it. Other things that are part of astronomy are the study of Burgess Meredith (this includes Batman Studies) and also of coloured lights, chocolate, and the Snorks. It's actually a pretty fun subject truth be told. Because he's been so naughty lately, Beazie has to stay with the bag and make sure it doesn't get knocked over or a penguin doesn't poo in it or something.  He doesn't seem best plz'd. But he knowe's it's an important job because what if a penguin DID poo in the bag? You'd never know the difference between a chocolate and a penguine poo. Beazie seem to be getting an idea about something. Oe well, some time has now elapsed and we all get to try a chocolate before they get taken back. Beazie is looking especially pleased with himself for some reason and he suggest Snatter has the first chocolate! That's nice of BEazie! But I'm going to be even nicer. Since this is our calendar, why don't you have the first chocolate!  Noe don't mention it!! No really, we don't mind! In fact I insits! In fact, nobody else is even going to get to have a chocolate until you've had one, I'm just feeling that generous. Go on! Have a chocolate! GO ON, what are you chicken? Bwaak buk buk  GO ON, EAT IT. WOLF IT DOWN. GO ON! GO ON! GO ON EAT IT EAT THE CHOCOLATE I AM BEING GENEROUS AND KINDE! Hehehe he's eating it he's eating it!! hehehehe!! HA HA HA EAT IT. EAT IT DOWN. EAT THE CHOCOLATE. 
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| # ? Dec 08, 2007 20:11 |
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Mmmm... nuttey.
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 01:17 |
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erm, I think Beazie may have did a poo in the bag...and maybie you just eat it.
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 01:45 |
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2 elves, 1 cup
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 01:47 |
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Octopus in Boots posted:erm, I think Beazie may have did a poo in the bag...and maybie you just eat it.  He told me it was a yooltide log
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 01:50 |
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I missed Bowy and got poo. 
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 08:00 |
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Screw the haters this is christmas come early. In fact the confused people make it that much better. 
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 10:38 |
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Look, I know it's nice when we get to do these calendars, but I shall
stop letting you open them with me if you're just going to get into
arguments. I mean calm it down for goodness sake. I know that chocolate Beazie fed you yesterday was less than pure shall we say, but we're not supposed to interfere with these historical characters in the calendar! Prime Directive!! We might mess up the history of Snatter and then things might get weird and out of hand! Don't mess with history!! Come on, today's door is in the Snatavity rehearsal room, so let's go in there. Oe, a rehearsal is going on! There's Rose, who you haven't seen yet so I'll have to try and get a picture of her soon, she's being an angel, and there's Duddles who is playing the piano accompanyment to the play, and there is - - oh look! there's Puffy, but he's not being a reindeer now, they've confiscated that comstume and he's being another caracter they've made him be - - and it's all going on. And there's Snatter, glumly walking round to the back of the stage because he's just working on the props. He's carved some props for the play out of wood and he semes to be quite good at that, but he wanted to be Snatter in the play. He's a bit late and has just arrived, so he's going round to the back of the stage now, and he sees... ...oe!  That's odd! Pete is standing in the dark looking at something in hims hands! It's so dark though, almost as if the thing that is dark is making darkness come out of it so we can't see what it is!! Pete has noticed us thoe and he's turning round to say something, but... but Snatter run away from him onto the stage! quick folow Snatter! O no! The rehearsal is starting! O noe m8s the rehearsal is happening already and we're trapped on the stage. We'd better work out a way to get out of here so we can get on with looking for the door. Wait! Wait, it's BEazie! He's not supposed to be on the stage! BEazie!! What he doing!! :O  OMG He pushe you off the stage and down onto the floor! What a spiteful boy!! "Maybe that'll teach you to argue with me!" he shout! "You're in league with them aren't you, Kringle and Duddles and Dooley, and all those rotters! Well, we'll show you. We'll show you." and he march off! :O Behind him Rose looks shocked, and just between the curtains I can see Pete looking through and chuckling to himself. He really likes it when Beazie kicks off like this, thinks it's well funny doesn't he. And that's where the chocolate is. Open the curtains and the chocolate is... oe, it's of an arrow. And I can't turn it round, it's always pointing off the stage in one particular direction. I reckon we should follow it or something. Well, I know what direction it was. Go on, you can eat it now, to take the taste of yesterday out of your mouth. also the sour taste of defeat. also the sour taste of get pushed off the stage onto flore. Muhuhu.
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 19:37 |
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Well that makes me sad and uppset. not tastey chocolate.
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 20:42 |
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I do not like this dore of flore 
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 23:13 |
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this was certainly the most depressing dore/flore combination I have ever witnessed in my life. and the poo? that's just a big pot coldroun of sad. it is true that the holidays are a stressful time but I had no idea there was this much grief involved does it get better for snatta?!
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| # ? Dec 09, 2007 23:35 |
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Can I have some chocolate shaped like an axe?
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 08:44 |
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Grim Frostbitten posted:Can I have some chocolate shaped like an axe? Why an axe?
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 10:24 |
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Buml0r posted:Why an axe? Because he's Grim & Frostbitten 
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 11:01 |
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Did Beazie use his Dark Sied powers to force pushe Snatter off the stage? 'Cause I can totally see it in the picture.
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 12:58 |
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RichLather posted:Did Beazie use his Dark Sied powers to force pushe Snatter off the stage? 'Cause I can totally see it in the picture. I knew I recognized that forehead from somewhere! 
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 13:08 |
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Anxiously awaiting today's dore. Come on Bumi00re, WIGGLE HE!
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 23:08 |
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Chuuurls posted:does it get better for snatta?! I spose so! I mean he gets to be Snataer! How good would that be, fly about with reindeer, giving everyone presents i mean come on. who's your favourite person? mine and yours: snatter claus! RichLather posted:Did Beazie use his Dark Sied powers to force pushe Snatter off the stage? 'Cause I can totally see it in the picture. Noe, just a normal push. Beazie isn't very good at magic. I mean just look at his hair! If he didn't actuall go to school with him, I don't think Beazie would believe in Snatter and Elfs when he grow's up. Well, today's door is located in the backstage area of the rehearsal room, where it's dark and brown. Not because of poo, because the walls are wood and that. The rehearsal has finished by now, and the kids are just milling about. Snatter has gone up to Pete and confronted him about when he looked all mysterious yesterday. "What were you peering at in your hande?" he asks. Pete looks around and goes shush at him, then says: "I was examining the wrappers from the chocolates we picked off the original Christmas Tree. And using my special detective kit, I discovered Beazie's fingerprints on the wrappers!  "They're there, plain as the nose on my face!" "And that's pretty plain to see, Pete," say SNatter. Snater thinke's Pete give him a terrible look for a split-second, but then he settle down and smiley again. "Exactly!" he sae. "That Beazie is GUILTY! We should tell a teacher. We should tell the head!" "Wot, Richard Burton?" "Yes!" Snatter doesn't think soe. "I don't know if it's that serious Pete. Maybe we should just..." "It certainly is that serious! He wilfully switched chocolates with poo, and watched while someone ate it! I mean what if the poo had been diseased? We don't know whose poo it was! Maybe his own, maybe penguin poo - it's a very big health risk, and even if not, if a parent found out about this and sued the school? The place would be shut down! There would be no Elf School! The Chosen One might never be found and made into Snatter!" Snater suppose it is quite important, put like that. They walk past Beazie, who has gone to sit down on a bench in the corner. "I'm going to tell on you, Toiz," says Pete and marches off with Snatter scampering behind. HE HE beazie's going to get in trouble m8s   BOHH! NOTHING EVER GOES RIGHT FOR BEAZIE! He lost his hair, got sent to the Head to get told off, kept being foiled by Pete who always told Snatter whenever he did a trick on him, got red paint on him's head, haha and he tried to talk to Rose and she told him to sod off, and he dressed as an angel just so that he could at least win a silly argument by proving an abstract point and he couldn't even do that because he's so RUBBISH at EVERYTHING!!! HA HA HA HA and all the time Pete was going MUHUHU at him from not far away, every single time!! HAHAHAHA OH GOD AHA AHAHAH he's RUBBISH!! BYE BYE BEAZIE That beazie crakce me up. Oh where are - - what are you doing?  MOHH! It's that arrow chocolate from yesterday! it's Still pointing in your tummy but now it's REALLY POINTING it goe... POINT Let's follow it since you can't stop anyway harhahar. Oe, we go down some steps Oe, we go through some roomes, Oe, we go round a corner, Oe, we go, H.S.B.C., we do dem graff's we got da mon-nee coz' we know how ta rap - yeah, kick it kev! Oh! And Look what's here! It's a newspaper on the floore and there's a door on the front of it. And inside... A chocolate! Yay! nom nom nom. It's a chocolate in the shape of a present. But the ribbon around it is sort of thin, like an unusually thin ribbon. Or a normal ribbon on an unusually big present. Om nom. Mystery. Om nom nom. Myserty nomm. Oh wait is... OE! Look!! The article on the front page of this paper is cut out! This must be the newspaper we were looking for to find out what happened to Dooper and why different bits of paper think he's dead even thoe he isn't! Quick, let's turn to page 2 and read the rest! Okay, let's see now... umm... ..huh?? who is that?  I think it's a clowne of some sort.  O noe it's David Bowy again! He looks different and he is out of breath and that. "Am I - - puffpant - - am I too early? What's going on at the moment, have you found the present yet??" I can't show him it because I ate it. it'd be a bit weird if he asks to see it and i've et it. so i'll tell him i haven't seen it. "No Bowy, what do you mean?" "Oh. My mistake then. I'm, er, I'm sorry and I hope that not too much stress is being caused by all this." "Wot? Noe, Bowy. Everything's quite fun, there's a kid called Beazie who keeps getting into trouble! Hehe and it's quite christmassy here at Elf School and - -" "No, I mean," say Bowy. "You know! All the... the present! And... Oh, no, he told me never to meddle, I can't go around just meddling. I'm sorry, I overshot. I didn't mean to land here. Look, just... just watch out. Or even better, don't. Go and hide somewhere and don't watch anything. Okay?" and he gone. 
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| # ? Dec 10, 2007 23:19 |
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Bulmer, this keeps getting better and better m8. Didn't think you'd
bother again this year as it would be impossible to top last year, but
this is fookin eggsellent. Keep it oop. Also I think Bowie and Pete are in Car-hoots.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 00:40 |
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Why does Bowy wear Snater pants?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 01:02 |
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I reckon e's a bit funny all roundey, matey.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 01:25 |
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BOWY! This thred just became a bout a million times better. I think anything is solved by bowy especially in this incarnation of him. just look at that magical thunderbolt, he is like a pre harry potter only instead of voldermot lightnings he was struck by the power of 80s and cigarettes what a mistere!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 03:06 |
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I am a bumble little Jew but I am sooooooo crissmissy right now!
Snatter is my noo favorite bible-man! Snatter is king of the juice! I
know! I am The Jui! This is good. I get Bowy choklits and I get to do Advent-sure with my Snatter m8s! Brian Blessed us, every Buml0r!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 04:40 |
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Damn Bowy and his Capcom-esque pallete-swops.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 18:06 |
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Time for another lesson now: Present Wrapping. This is a very important lesson for Elves as the Present Wrapping department of the Grotto is a large thriving community with a very good union and once you're in there you're set. You've got a trade, ynoe? The first stage, which we've covering today, is Wrappin Paper Making, which is taught by Mr Slightlymorerealisticallyproportioned.  He's standing by this mechanism turning the handle, which makes the endless roll of wrapping paper go past. The kids take it in turns to throw stardust from a big bag onto the paper, where it sticks on and becomes Decorations! Are they stars? No! Are they snowflakes? Yes! We may never know! Pete seems to be taking a particular interest in this lesson. Snatter try to talk to him but he not listening. "Ssh" he saye. "Tell him to shush himself," says Duddles next to them. "Be nice, Duddles," saye Dooley. "Kringle is Pete's friend." "I haven't seen any of you in a while," says Snatter to Duddles and Dooley. "I thought we were going to be good mates to begin with." "Yes," say Duddles, "so did we." That's an odd thing to say, so Snatter goes back to watching the wrapping paper. But then he see over in the corner look, there's Beazie! Ha ha good old Beazie, he does everything wrong. Today he's talking to Rose again!  This is Rose Suchak. She's the girl who is going to be the angel in the Snatavity instead of Beazie. Rose is the Only Girl in the School. One girl, thousands of boys. And you know what that means ladies and gents! I think you rather know what is in store for Rose! You can probably imagine what her role is within Elf School oe m8s and ladym8s! That's right, she's really entitled and bossy. I don't know what Beazie said to her but he gave her some flowers and said it, and she got all bitchy and started wiggling her head and clicking her fingers around it, and Beazie is going red in the face again!  "Well that's it then isn't it! That's everyone in this whole school against me! Well fine! Fine then! I don't know why I should even try any more! If you're all going to gang up like that! I'm going to... I'm going to... I'll talk to the Head! I'm leaving the school and I'll never be an elf again!!" And he storms out!  "Well well," saye Pete Schwartz. Beazie turne round again and glare at him, and he glare at him for ages and Pete doesn't even stop smiling a little bit, and suddenly Beazie turn back to Rose and wave a finger at her - and it look like he can't think of anything to say to anyone! Eventually he just shouts at everyone, "Just you wait! Wait till the Snatavity!! I'll show you!!" and he storm off. and there a silence left behind. MOHH OMLOMOHLMOHLOMUHUHUHO, Beazie threw a full-on eppy! Pete is laughing at him and the other elf's are sort of chuckling a bit. Snatter isn't sure though, he wants to know what BEazie meant about the Snatavity I think. Nobodyn taking Beazie seriously though, he's rubbish at everything. Chocolate left behind is in the shape of Beazie's self-loathing. TUCK IN, EVERYONE!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 18:29 |
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Buml0r posted:Chocolate left behind is in the shape of Beazie's self-loathing. Ha-cha-cha-cha-delicious!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 18:36 |
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Buml0r posted:Chocolate left behind is in the shape of Beazie's self-loathing. Is that more poo then?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 18:41 |
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YAY, Rose has the same name as I!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 19:07 |
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You're called Rose????
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 22:37 |
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Buml0r posted:You're called Rose???? Yes!!! edit: and i am ginger as well!
poofromfud fucked around with this message at Dec 11, 2007 around 22:42
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| # ? Dec 11, 2007 22:39 |
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oe m8s that Beazie he hav face like squashed tomatoe. And he neva win
any Elf prizes eg Mrs Joyful prize for intrikit woodworking work coz he
always drawing beetles on him leg nstead of paying attenshun. I have not had ne choklit yet chiz chiz chiz
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| # ? Dec 12, 2007 00:03 |
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poofromfud, MAYBE YOU ARE HER. Are you called Rose Suchek? Or does the similarity end at "e"?
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| # ? Dec 12, 2007 00:51 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calendar again! Let's open more dores!