|
I'm dreaming of a white dwarf Christmas.
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 04:23 |
|
|
I've got it, it all ends with John Simm jumping off a roof dressed as Snatter, whilst Gene Hunt grabs a nonce and wiggles he! Oh bugger, I don't have the first clue what's really going on!
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 04:44 |
|
|
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 10:09 |
|
|
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 10:15 |
|
|
TRAPPED IN QUANTUM CHOCOLATE SINGULARITY! SEND HELP! also nom nom nom
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 10:27 |
|
|
File X-82-SNO-b CONFIDENTIAL Transcription of video discovered at Location 1, estimated date of recording 1986  This attic's full of memories for me. I remember as a boy, sneaking up here to take a look in the drawer, just to make sure it was all real. At first I was content to put it down to whim and fantasy, but as I grew older and began to question the world, I found I needed to understand the science behind what happened to me, and to everyone who got tangled up in it all. I would sit and stare out of the window into the garden, just trying to see what might be there that triggered his first apparition. I half expected to see some tangible evidence of the supernatural; a ring of mushrooms on the lawn, or of lights in the air, some sort of conduit - not magical, necessarily, but certainly unusual or perhaps even unique to this exact spot of land - through which whatever spirit or Earthly force was responsible could focus itself...  But I never found it. I never found the answer. As an adult I am forced to concede that perhaps, through some strange device of fate, I may indeed have contacted what my mother might have called "darker forces". I never told my mother about him and the journeys we would make together, for the very reason that I was sure she would have me committed and the garden paved and heated. Even the possibility of it cut through my heart. Unlike my mother I was still awake to the joy of the world, and would never use words like hers to describe such a dear friend, although in my bleaker moments I have considered the briefness of that flutter of congizance he calls a life, and how much less dark the world might be were he capable of sustaining it for more than a few scant hours each winter.  It is in these moments of weakness that I find myself returning here to wonder at what I may have become involved in, at such an innocent age. If he appeared to one of my own children and spirited them away as he did me, would I be so forgiving now? Would I love him still, as I did then? Even having met him, I had to suppress the urge in later life to forbid my little ones from building snowmen in the garden. Indeed, I could not always restrain myself. I have raved at them, such that they must have thought me a madman. But I only wanted to protect them, not from my friend, who I respect now more dearly than ever I did before I learned the truth, but from his life. From the cycle of anguish into which he valiantly leapt that day at Elf School.  Look around! If there was ever a spark of magic in this old place then it has long gone now. Perhaps due to my own arrogance. It is impossible, of course, to be entirely free from the ravages of one's own ego when the world calls one a superstar. Hit records, movie deals, I was being told I was important. More than important. More than a man. I would like to claim that I did not believe them, but as I look back over my career now, I realise that whatever other effect it may have had on me, I did begin to forget that I knew a man who was, truly was, more than just a man.  Of course I remember him fondly. I think it always made him sad, though he never showed it, that I held him in my regard above the friends and the games that were the staple of any other childhood. I neglected them, indeed, preferring to sit in this room and think, and wait. He told me I had to live for myself, to build my own life. He always loved the song I'd sing with him as we flew, said it was between innocence and melancholy, and that I should take to making music, at least as a hobby to fill my lonely days without him. Because he could never stay, I knew it as well as he did. Better, even, for I was the one left alone. And so I began to build my career. Songs led to albums, acclaim, even money. And for a time I did forget him, though I regret it now. But one day...  I found myself back in this attic. The house had belonged to me now for some time, but had stood empty, myself and my family moved outwards to homes more suited to the lifestyle I had provided for us. What brought him back to my mind then, I can't say, but there he was, standing proud in the centre of a white garden. The Snowman was asking me to return, to look in the drawer, to prove it had all been real.  And damn me if I hadn't felt like a boy again, thrilling to touch the scarf Father Christmas offered to me, and which the Snowman had always seen as a mark of our friendship and mutual admiration. The air was sharp with cold that day and I found myself running back down the stairs, and I began to build. I built him as I ever had, even the same old hat and scarf were stored in the cupboard under the stairs. And I stood on that lawn then for the rest of the night, never moving for fear that I might miss the moment for which I had sought an explanation all my life. Miss it I did not. The Snowman turned and gestured to me, but I would not go. Not tonight, I told him, for tonight you will explain to me everything I must know about my childhood, my time with you, and all that relates to it. I was no longer a child, I explained to him, and deserved the truth. And finally, he broke the vow of silence that had stayed his words all those years, the vow he took for his own punishment, and for the protection of inquisitive minds like mine.  He didn't do it. That's the thing you must remember. And because I can believe that now, I think of myself as worthy to wear this scarf again without irony. I have worn it throughout my career, removing it only when cameras would tell otherwise, and questions be asked. But for a while, after I heard what he had to say, I could not bring myself to touch it. It sickened me to think of what he had to do. But now I know why he did it, and I am honoured to have known such a man. There had come a day, he explained, when the fate of the world would be decided. Horrors had been unleashed which could not be surmounted: a machine, vast and terrible, whose only function was to travel the world, reach down the chimneys of the world's people and deposit under their Christmas trees devices which would devour them even as they awoke on Christmas morning. This was only the first of the terrors to emerge from the dread portal opened by the foe who summoned it. There was, he said, a chance. A boy, who would later grow to be the same Claus whose presence was felt by every child. He alone had the power to seal the portal and save the world. But he was held back by his nerves, by his lack of confidence. He needed a cause, a purpose, he needed an emotional reason to succeed. My friend was in posession of a depth of knowledge about the future, about all potential futures, for he carried with him an amulet - a chocolate, he said, although I never believed him - with the ability to lift the veil of time and lay it out before him. He knew what must be done, and it was so awful that he dared not place that burden upon anyone else. He had to go back, and murder the elf who had taught young Claus to fly. Only his heart was made of enough ice to carry out the deed, my dear friend told me, because the man was beloved by all. And so, with great and desperate regret, my friend the Snowman travelled back along the stream of linear time, and killed the elf teacher. There was a period of mourning in Lapland, which the Snowman could not face and so returned reluctantly to the future. There he found that the world had, indeed, been saved. In that moment of truth, Claus had successfully performed the looping trick he had failed to do before, and he did it because his teacher was dead. He did it for the old man, in his name and for his memory. Grief can lend strength even to a child, and I dare not imagine the sorrow felt by the reindeer who pushed themselves to the limit to perform the task, and to close that terrible portal. The world was saved, and yet the man was dead. Christmas was a sad occasion from then on.  And yet Christmas prevails. It is not a sad occasion. I realised that despite his promises, he had not told me the whole of the tale. So where was the discrepancy in the Snowman's story? I had to see for myself. And so, throughout my career I have sought the traces of this "quantum chocolate", knowing that something of it must surely remain where my friend has been. Only twice have I been successful, and I carefully planned my method of using the chocolate's signature to travel back in time all those hundreds of years to watch events unfold with my own eyes. But both times I have arrived too soon, and too briefly. Today, fate has smiled upon me and I feel this must be my day of truth. The next trace of the Snowman's quantum trail is to appear on the set of a film in which I shall be performing. The very first day of filming coincides with my next brief chance, both taking place within the same area at the same time. I intend to return to that old school, and this time I know where my previous errors were and shall not miss the day and the moment in which it all took place. Ironic that by placing my first foot within this "Labyrinth", I will make the final step out of the maze that has been my life. Soon I will know. If I am not seen again, let this video stand to comfort my family, who I do not leave lightly. I wish you all the best, but I must do this. I must.
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 23, 2007 around 16:52
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 16:44 |
|
|
...because I can.
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 16:50 |
|
|
We're walking in the air... We're floating in the moonlit sky... 
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 17:12 |
|
|
Qwik Bowie! You've gotta hit 88mph! ON FOOT!
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 19:41 |
|
|
Somebody contact Bowie's agent and get him in on the film adaptation of this, stat.
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 20:42 |
|
|
Buzkashi posted:Somebody contact Bowie's agent and get him in on the film adaptation of this, stat. Can I play the snowman? I've totally got the figure for it.
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 20:57 |
|
|
Buml0r posted:I was sure she would have me committed and the garden paved and heated. That is the worst kind of heating.
|
| # ? Dec 23, 2007 21:42 |
|
|
o snatter, how sad the elf him dead also sad are there no mor dores?
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 02:50 |
|
|
I'm getting a bad feeling about this. If Bing Crosby calls, tell him Dave's not here.
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 06:29 |
|
|
File X-82-SNO-b-ii CONFIDENTIAL Continued transcription of video discovered at Location 1, estimated date of recording 1986  Well... I can't say I enjoyed what I saw. No. I'm afraid I cannot call this a good day. Sometimes the past is better left in the past.  I speak to you on the day after my trip into the distant past, from the trailer assigned to me by my good friend Mr Henson, without whose unquestioning belief and assistance I might never have fulfilled what I do consider, against my better judgement, to be in some way my fate. He is a kind man, and his beard is gentle and welcoming. I saw in him a man who was not beyond belief in the innocent fantasy of a child, which even I consider my story still to be. A childish fantasy, but one which was inexplicably real and which truly happened to me. The first year, after I had built the Snowman and he had taken me to Father Christmas, I would have thought the whole experience to be nothing but a dream, were it not for the scarf still in my pocket. To see the Snowman corrupted and ruined, reduced to a heap of slush and sinking coal in the warm morning sun the next day might have broken my heart, were it not for his return the next year. Henson listened to my story, and whether or not he believed it truly in that moment I might never know, but he helped me. He helped me to be alone at the moment when I needed to make my journey, and he saw me go, and saw me return. And I...  Oh, if only I knew the full truth of it. He didn't do it. I said it before I went, but it was speculation, wishful thinking. Now I know it. I know it to be true. My friend, a murderer? Impossible. The Snowman is the very spirit of innocence. The world into which I stepped was indeed about to be destroyed. There was the young Claus, closing the portal, which took the form of an opening Pandora's Box in the sky. He looped around it, and suceeded! The box was wrapped! The portal was closed. And on the ground, the Vendequm Dooper cheered the loudest of them all. How this can be, I do not yet know. One day my friend will return and he will tell me. Why is it that he claimed the looping trick could not work with Dooper alive, and yet there before me were both truths, the living Vendequm and the successful loop? And yet I could see nearby an obituary, pinned to the stables where the reindeer are housed. Of course, it was his. This living elf, mourned, but still living. It was as if I stood at the convergance of two possible realities, which somehow had become one. How? I don't know. But I have heard of such things, when the Snowman told me about his quantum chocolate and its maddening effects on reality. I have sat in my trailer for a day and a night, worrying and fussing over the thought. I have my hypothesis. I think I know what my friend has had to do.  Since the day I realised how quick I had been to forget my friend when fame and stardom embraced me, I have pondered at length my standing in the world. Am I a man? A real man? I can entertain thousands, millions, but is that enough? Surely it is natural to question one's own worth in this way - if called upon, could I stand up and be a hero? A real man? I do not know, I can never know. But he...  ...I-I'm sorry, the matter is still distressing to me... But he is, if I am right, such a man. The deed he had to do in order to create this meeting of worlds, to allow the two happy endings to meet is so significant, to an innocent like him, that it pains me even to consider it. If he has done what I think he has been forced to do, and lives as he does as a result, then I can only be grateful for the rest of my days to have met such a person. Am I a real man? It is not for me to say. But I know that I have met one. For you see...  ...He was a real snowman. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - For Consideration: This document to be analysed in light of the accompanying text, transcribed from interviews with Victim D, known as "M8s". Transcription to follow.
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 12:17 |
|
|
Oh God, this does not look good Buml0r, I fear for us all, can we call
upon the power of old Father Briggs? Surely he could save us, even with
things looking this grim.
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 13:15 |
|
|
I will proudly sacrifice myself for Christmas.  Next chocolate will taste of grim determination.
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 17:04 |
|
|
Are you... you, you're.. BOWY? He did keep anxiously arriving at odd times, and there is a vague resemblance.. but... no that makes no sense, this quantum chocolate is very confuse.
Coffee Quack fucked around with this message at Dec 24, 2007 around 20:14
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 19:53 |
|
|
File X-07-ADV-b-xvii CONFIDENTIAL Transcription of interviews taken at Facility X  Recent photograph of Victim D, "M8s" SESSION BEGINS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And I speak into this, do I? Do I need to lean over, or...? Okay. Well. What's it like? I'm not sure I can really answer that, I mean, what's like being born? What's like dying? You know? They're the same sort of question. What is it like to fully leave time and space, and observe it from the outside? How can I answer that? It wasn't painful, if that's what you mean. I mean, I'm okay now. The moment I was sucked into the Snowman's slipstream it was as if the universe popped around me like a bubble, and I suddenly knew that's all it has ever been. Just a thin membrane with a glimmer of colour somewhere inside. Outside, I suddenly felt the size of the world around me. Oh, you - you mean what was the murder like? Well, not like a murder, that's for sure. I think it might have been more Dooper's idea than the Snowman's. They talked it out, worked out what would be best, what should be done. Burgess of course knew all about it already, he came drifting down the staircase smiling from ear to ear, proud of them for working it all out for themselves. Dooper and the Snowman walked away, and only one of them came back. For my part, I wasn't physically present. They didn't know I was watching them at all. I could see and hear, but there wasn't anything else to me. I think the transition out of time and space, without holding the quantum chocolate, did something to me that separated myself from myself, if that makes sense. It was exhiliarating, but I'm glad to be back together now. Then after the deed was done, the Elf world started to react to it. Heh, I even got to see the day that newspaper came out. I don't know who took the photograph, but I recognised the expression. I did feel weak and shocked by what was going on. I've never been ripped out of time before, and I never thought I'd see the Snowman and the world's nicest Elf plan his death. Either way, it meant I come out on photographs. I even discovered I had a reflection - I just couldn't be seen in real life. Like a reverse-vampire. I think the universe knew I was there and couldn't fully compensate for my not being. In any case, then the Snowman returned to the future, and I followed, and I did get to see the way things would have been.  "For Dooper!!" He yelled, and it was just like they said of him later in life. You could actually hear his voice on the wind, drifting like snowflakes. But this wasn't a kindly voice at all, there was a terrible sorrow in it, and I knew straight away that it had worked. In this reality, Dooper had recently died, and of course none of them could understand why.  Not even Burgess. Or, perhaps he had some inkling, but it would be knowledge of another universe, knowledge he couldn't fully access.  It worked, that's the thing. Claus and his reindeer finally had the drive to succeed, to make that tricky loop. The present was wrapped, and everything was done. I couldn't see the Antisanta any more. He had disappeared from the roof, along with Beazie. Of course if you asked me now where they are... I'd have to say "Nothing is known of their whereabouts," wouldn't I? And so here I was in this new world, in which Christmas was a sorrowful time of mourning for the death of the most well-liked Elf in all Lapland. Except...  I saw on the Snowman's face a sudden flash of realisation, almost of shock. His hand curled, and I knew what he must be holding in it, of course. He walked over to the wall of the school, wrenched something from it, and then he was off again, sprinting, leaping across the school grounds. I was afraid of being torn in half yet again, and of what might be left of me this time since I was already without a body, so I followed, and once again was sucked into his slipstream.  He flew as gracefully through antispace as through space, walking in time the way a dolphin swims.  When we arrived, I saw that he had taken us to the moment when he gave Claus the scarf. I could tell that was a moment he wanted to preserve, he wouldn't meddle with it. He had to give the scarf to Claus, so that Santa Claus could give it to the boy. Then the Snowman walked away from the children.  He gave himself the chocolate. The Snowman - the one who now I'm sure thought of himself as a murderer - handed it to his former self, his innocent self, and told him to eat it. And of course, he did. Such a strange encounter. One man finally looking into his own eyes and seeing himself for what he really was. Which of them came out of that moment the better, I wouldn't want to guess. Even after what happened next.  "It's better," he insisted, "trust me, far, far better. You haven't yet gone back and done the deed, you still have this chance." His double protested, but the Snowman was insistant. "Better this," he said, "than live to be a killer."  I wish I could describe to you what it was like to watch time knit itself back together again. Dooper's life was strung out before me in a tapestry of light and feeling, and its light shone against the darker hues of the Antisanta's plot, and drowned them out. Such darkness could never prevail under the glare of such a light! It's the Grandfather Paradox, or something close. If you go back in time and kill yourself, then how were you ever there to go back in time? It's a paradox, and the universe doesn't like those. It likes to break them off and toss them away like little hoops of time. But not this time: the earlier Snowman was still chewing on the quantum chocolate even as he melted away. And that, I think, is what saved everything. The two universes combined. Dooper is alive, and yet the box was wrapped. And I'm not sure anyone but me remembers why. I don't think they know what happened at all. Claus never performed the Looper, he didn't need to. Dooper never died. None of it ever happened, and that's what I had to tell a distressed David Bowie as he clawed at the things around him, shovelled snow between his fingers, tried to get some solid grip on where he was. He was ranting and raving about a murdered Vendequm - the local name for the Elves - I suspect the Snowman told him at some point something of what he had to go back and do. Beazie... what he may or may not remember, I don't know, but he isn't here. I don't know where he is. So I don't think there's anyone left now who actually remembers what happened. You'll have to ask him, of course. No, not the Snowman, I mean the boy. The one who buys the calendars. His viewpoint on this must be the most important, mustn't it? Of course I'll do what you've asked me to. I just don't know what to make of any of it yet. They've told me I begin tomorrow. Maybe we'll see the end of this then. Tomorrow... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SESSION ENDS.
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 22:44 |
|
|
 NO WAY
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 23:49 |
|
|
Well this is all coming together nicely
|
| # ? Dec 24, 2007 23:59 |
|
|
Yay! It's snatterday, we've survived and not eaten nearly as much poo as last year! Good job Buml0r.
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 00:04 |
|
|
HAPPY SATTERDAY M8S! I'll write to you proper tomorroe but atm there's some weirdness going on, i fink the universe is sort of shifting about a bit. it doesn't seem too bad thoe, it actually feels quite nice happy christmas thoe! HAPPY CHRISTMAS! I will talk to you properly tomorrow and we can open That Last Dore!
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 00:11 |
|
|
Buml0r you have gived me the best desktop background ever M8, thank you. Happy Snaterday!
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 00:17 |
|
|
I seem to be drinking cider and looking at porn. I'm sure that's not what I was doing a minute ago.
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 00:17 |
|
|
Turtleneck Smegma posted:Buml0r you have gived me the best desktop background ever M8, thank you. Happy Snaterday! orl? which one? mecha snatter? Oe, I remember last year when we got to see the whole calendar go mad and come to life on Christmas Day last year. If you like desktop size christmas, that was a good one. All the charcters were going all crazy and having lightsaber fights and things! I shouldn't imagine there'll be any big pic tomorrow, this calendar might not have a dore 25 for all i noe, i haven't seen one about anywhere. doore 25, dore 25... i wonder if it's the dore out of the calendar? funny that we're still stuck in here tho innit? Well, goodnight for now, see you tomorrow! on day 25! Snatturday! 
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 25, 2007 around 02:15
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 02:04 |
|
|
I was hoping it was one of those fancy new calenders that go up to New Year. Don't buy your advent calander from a cheapo newsagent next year, mate. I had one with Mighty Maxes in it once. That was ace.
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 02:18 |
|
|
Buml0r posted:orl? which one? mecha snatter? No m8 he is too scary for I, I mean the one where it is like a montage with Snoeman and Snater and Bowy and lovely old Dooper, poor Snoeman. Poor Dooper. 
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 02:34 |
|
|
buml0r i raise my hot cocoa to you m8
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 08:29 |
|
|
And I to you! I am doing a Happy Christmas on you all, LIVE! Hey chaps
it's lovely here in the christmas castle now that everything's been
sorted out. I'm not sure how it was sorted out... or what the problem
was to begin with... but it's all done now! I will think hard about it
as the day goes on and see if I can come up with a propar conclusion in
the eveninnge. It's all go here at the Elf School! All the elvis are playing and having a nice time. I can't find dore 25 yet though, if there even is one. I hope soe, because it's nice here but how will I get out otherwise! I will report back later today with my finedinges. Darth Hanbidge, I also had that calendar. It was chocolates up to 24, and then it said there would be A TOY! I was thinking a little horror head or something with a max in, or one of those really tiny little ones that were basically just a hinged container for one custom Max, but noe, it was just a Max! I saved him in the original bag tho just in case it ever gets VALUEBUL
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 09:49 |
|
|
Buml0r posted:Darth Hanbidge, I also had that calendar. It was chocolates up to 24, and then it said there would be A TOY! I was thinking a little horror head or something with a max in, or one of those really tiny little ones that were basically just a hinged container for one custom Max, but noe, it was just a Max! Ha ha mine had THREE Maxes! In the 7th and 14th boxes. And they all had different coloured hats. My favourite was the blue hat.
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 16:33 |
|
|
M8s! It's excellent to have you back. You seemed to ping off for a while there and I was worried. I thought you'd been smashed up to pieces&bits by the snowman's weird quantum fiddling or something! Look, I saved you the chocolates from the last couple of dores when I've not seen you around! One is of SNowman, one is of Dooper! EAT UP!! I must sae I didn't relly understand what happened. Here's what it looked like from my point of view. All month I've been finding clues about Dooper being dead. But he isn't! And then when Snatter was about to wrap up the big present in the sky, the Antisnatter present, it was sort of like... because Dooper was dead, he got it write. You knoe? That was what everyone else seemed to feel like as well, they were all crying and going "FOR DOOPER", but he was there too going "YOU CAN DO IT CRINGLY," and snatter just sort of managed, it was really dramatic but i doent noe why because dooper is alive!! It was so weird! So i suppoes I'll just have to accept that the WORLD is really WEIRD for no REASON, and dooper was, for that moment, both dead and alive at once. Never mind anyway, eh? The good guy's won! There's now a big nicely wrapped present hanging in the sky to tell everyone this is where xmas presnets are made, and everything's just really cool here, everyone's all happy! A few things that are still a bit sort of unresolved: 1) First lee, The Antisnatter. He just sort of... gone. He was being wiggled, and then he gone. And Beazie gone too. 2) Wise Old Elf Burgess, Richard Burton Head, Dooper and Snowman talking to each other. They say strange thinge's that I overhear. "Of course," saye Snowman. "Time moves with him." "Wat?" saye Head. "We have yet to finde the Snatter," saye Snowman, "and sadly the Antisntater was so far up on the roof none of us got to see who him was, but he already have the Snatter powers. That mean he has the power of "Time Moves With Him" that let him do all Snattering in one night." "Yeh so?" say Head "Well, quantum time reality changes don't affect him. He is King of Time Lines. He didn't get his mind changed of what happened in the original timeline, so he remembers everything and all that fiddling and changing along the wae." "You what tho m8?" say Head. "Oe nuthing," say Snoweman. Then they all part except Snowmann and Burgess. 3) Very serious and a bit scary disucssion Snowman and Byurgess then have. Went like this, if I remember. <Burgess> What is troubling you, friend? <Snowman> I had to do something today that I wish I hadn't done. <Burgess> I see. And is this the kind of deed you would like to explain to me? Or the kind best left untold? <Snowman> Untold. Especially since it never happened anyway. I had to go back in time and stop it from happening. <Burgess> Ah. I think I know what you're about to say, and if it would make you more comfortable, please, feel free not to say it. But I must ask: how did you stop it from happening? <Snowman> I had to go back in time and confront myself. With... fire. <Burgess> Yes. Of course. As the prophecies all agreed. Original Sin. <Snowman> No...! <Burgess> You melted yourself in the past. You know very well what that means. The curse Snowmankind have dreaded begins on this day. Your impossible, paradoxical deed has to play out somehow in the linear universe, and so the paradox is resolved in the usual way. What many would call a "curse", but we in the know would call a "cosmic solution." <Snowman> How is a man punished who kills himself in the past? What fate does the universe have for him? <Burgess> That the death be repeated... for all time. This is your Original Sin. From this day on, a Snowman's life will be limited to the duration of the sun's absence. When the grey sky lifts and the sun shows itself, the Snowman will melt away to nothing. <Snowman> But... but we will live only days! <Burgess> No - you will live a normal life span. But that span will be spread out across hundreds and hundreds of years. Your bodily appearances will guide the hands of young children who build snowmen from now until eternity, and into those new bodies you will step. <Snowmen> They will think we are... magical. <Burgess> They will. And you will do what you choose to with that. But it will be nothing but the universe's defence against its own corruption. A stitch in time, to prevent further tearing. They silent for long time. <Snowman> Maybe I will bring them here. Maybe I will show them a shred of the wonder this Christmas land holds. <Burgess> Who? <Snowman> The children. I DO NOT NOE M8S, THEY ARE TALKING WEIRD. Oe! Look who coming out of the school! It is the Herald of Christmas, Noddy Holder! He saye - what that you saye Noddy? Oe! He saye he was being held captive by Antisnatter! BUt now he's free to do his job! His heraldey job! It is not christmas, until Noddy Holder say it is!! The elves gather under the first christmas tree to hear himme's proclamation. And Noddy Holder saye, "It's Christmas," And it is Christmas. And he see that it imme am goode. YAY CHRISTMAS! Everyone have happy times playing in the castle! Little elves everywhere at Elf School! And ... OE M8S!! I THINK I FOUND THE DORE! Look! That sort of crack around the sky! Remember last year the whole calendar was the dore? Well this year we're INSIDE the calendar, so the WHOLE CALENDAR is the way OUT! COME ON LADS! PUSH THE AIR! PUUUUSH! THAT'S IT M8S COME ON! PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN! WE'LL OPEN UP THIS HUGE DORE FROM THE INSIDE! HEEEEAVE! HEEEEEEEAAAAVVVVEEEE!!! It worked! The whole of everything we can see in front of us, the whole of Lapland in the distance, the whole pole; the Whole north Pole... It all FLAP OPEN as we push it! And the REAL WORLD im outside! Let's goe! Let's goe! The whole calendar is one big open dore and we're jumping out of it and going back to normal size!! And now we look back, and we take one last fond look at... the Elf School. Called... Elf School.  Big - 1680x1050 Manageable - 1440x900 Small and not widescreen - 1440x900 (Other sizes - just ask) Goodbye Elf School! We had a Happy Christmas in you! We broke the world a bit again but everything worked out ok in the end! Bye!! Goodbye! And now I step back out into my real life. Goodbye! goodbye elf school! Goodb -- Thanks for sticking with the thread everyone. It's been a joy and a chore. Once again I've been more prolific with this thread than at any other time of the year, having to produce multiple presentable pictures every day, and that's hard at the best of times. In December especially, it's very tricky. I do it because I genuinely want to put something into Christmas, so the fact that some of you actually remembered this thread from last year and are thinking of it as something of a christmas tradition is very gratifying. Thanks! Credit must go to Abby Ryder for today's beautiful Elf School illustration and the special effects on Pete and Mecha Snatter, go and see her at her website. The Snowman and Santa Claus The Movie are available on DVD and I recommend them for future Christmas festivities. Oh and Labyrinth is available, of course. We had a great Christmas here, and it comes as a huge relief, because I've honestly been up far too late most nights and actually had to set aside some freelance work to be able to make this thread, and any friends I didn't let down this month by missing their various evening outings are in the minority. So thanks to the GBS-FM crew for appearing to follow the thread as well as Abby for general support, and the various friends I've been pasting this to each day. Oh and thanks to the guy in Manchester town centre who was overheard talking about Beazie in Piccadilly Gardens a couple of weeks ago. And dear lord, thank-you everyone who replied. The Snatter threads can be a lonely business and although I can count hits, it's the interaction that really make it work. So, he story is told, but the calendar isn't completely over yet. I've still got a couple of little surprise Christmas Presents for you which will appear in this thread over the next few days. In the meantime, why don't we tell each other what a nice Christmas we had? You first.
Buml0r fucked around with this message at Dec 25, 2007 around 23:53
|
| # ? Dec 25, 2007 23:50 |
|
|
My uncle gave me a can of Tomato Rice soup for christmas. This thread ruled, thanks a lot. I looked forward to every update more than I looked forward to the real Snatterday itself.
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 00:41 |
|
|
Heya Buml0r, Glad you and Abby had fun and that you've mainly finished this so can go back to having a (mainly) normal life, although of course I'll miss this. I've already summed up the main part of Christmas in my gbs-fm thread although who cares about that anyway, New Years is always bigger  Really like the detail of Baron Blessed's class and the melted Snowman on the Wallpaper. Good job, I think this year has surpassed last years in terms of both art and storyline so fucking good job. Eagerly awaiting next years if you care to put yourself through this again. Cheers.
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 00:51 |
|
|
Buml0r posted:We had a great Christmas here, and it comes as a huge relief, because I've honestly been up far too late most nights and actually had to set aside some freelance work to be able to make this thread, and any friends I didn't let down this month by missing their various evening outings are in the minority. Aaaaaaaaawwww thank you buml0r you sacrificed your own Christmas just for us m8s  My Christmas was okay but I got blitzed on absinthe shots two days earlier so I still felt bad and couldn't drink much on Christmas day and then had to go home for sleep instead of staying over with a friend and that made me miss out on other things on Boxing Day which is today But I got to catch up on the last few calender days
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 01:09 |
|
|
Dave, you've made a good few Christmas films/specials I couldn't give a damn about suddenly interesting. Fucking great art. I implore you, see Santa Claus Conquers The Martians!
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 01:14 |
|
|
Darth Hanbidge posted:I implore you, see Santa Claus Conquers The Martians! I second this! It's a wonderfully terrible film - the acting, writing, special effects (cardboard box robots and rotten polar bear suits) - they're awful. But it does have the best theme song of all time. Excellent story, buml0r. I hope to see it return next year.
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 01:36 |
|
|
The presents arent poo again are they. 
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 01:44 |
|
|
Thank you Buml0r! This thread has added some serious  to my holiday.
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 02:06 |
|
|
I looked forward to this thread every day. It's been fantastic, and it
made me feel all warm and festive inside. Thank you buml0r.
|
| # ? Dec 26, 2007 02:14 |
|
The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Advent calendar again! Let's open more dores!